


般若  (HANNYA)

by Crizz



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mentions of underage Rape/Non-con, Not Beta Read, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Sasaeng Fan(s), mentions of child abuse, nothing graphic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2019-10-05 16:11:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17328248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crizz/pseuds/Crizz
Summary: Changmin has a girlfriend.She’s pretty as a butterfly and sweet as honey.Her voice is soft  and soothing, her smile melts the hardest heartShe loves cooking and her house as neat as a pinShe is everything a man could ask for in a girlfriend and would be proud to introduce to one’s parents.She is the kind of girl that nations go to war for and no doubt that Changmin is lucky to have her.She is the very epitome of perfection.…….. She also doesn’t like Yunho.





	1. INTRODUCTION

 

 

It was after the second ' **Circle - Welcome** ' concert in Seoul and they - TVXQ and few of the crews, were just lounging around in one of the spacious staff room back at the company.

It had been a good show with only few minor glitch - easily solved by TVXQ professional and seasoned staff, and everybody were happy that the second and final day of TVXQ first solo concert in South Korea after nearly 3 years went so smoothly that when someone decided to have late supper, they all decided to order in fried chicken and jajangmyeon and send some poor interns to the convenient store for buns and drinks.

 

Different from any other gatherings they had before however, this time there is an additional person added to their usual group and everyone is eager to get to know this girl who managed to snag one of the most sought-after bachelor (or playboy, depending on  _who_  you ask) in all of Asia.

 

  
Yes, our very own Shim Changmin has got himself a girlfriend.

An  _actual_ , going-into-6-months-now girlfriend in fact.

 

  
Obviously everyone was quite surprised that the younger (well-known for his perverted and wondering eyes) member of the duo managed to keep his relationship a secret for so long.

Even Yunho himself wasn't fully sure of her existence before that night. sure, he kinda heard the rumor from Donghae (apparently she was a civilian that he helped during one of his assignments as police officer..or _something_? Trust Changmin to somehow managed to meet girls during his enlistment).

But when Changmin didn't say anything, he decided it was just that: a _**rumor** _(plus he keeps  _forgetting_  to ask the maknae about it =.=;;;)

 

Apparently the girl told Changmin that she would love to introduce herself to Changmin's friends/colleagues and asked if she could join them after the concert. 

Changmin was quite reluctant at first but finally relented and the way things are going currently, he has nothing to worry about.

 

She gets on splendidly with everyone... and everyone seems to like her as well - in which it was obvious by the way they keep talking over one another in attempts to tease Changmin as much as possible by telling his girlfriend his most embarrassing moments in the past.

 

  
Couple of hours in, one by one of the staffs excused themselves to go back home as their body finally caught up after the very hectic day they had. Until finally the only few that left are Changmin, Yunho, couple of wardrobe people and couple of tech crews. Their own manager is currently dead to the world on the floor as he snores and hugged a beer bottle closer.

Someone called Changmin to join them to doodle on the poor man's face with a marker they found somewhere and the TVXQ maknae gleefully bounded over - too buzzed up to remember what a  _bad_  idea it is to play prank on someone who is in charge of your every schedule.

 

  
"So... Yunho-sshi~"

 

The soft voice broke Yunho out of his adoring gaze towards Changmin's back and turned to see the girl who was by now sitting next to him on the couch. Blinking owlishly, Yunho vaguely wondered when did she moved from across the coffee table to his side without him noticing. And why from this close distance, the previously soft pretty feature of Changmin's girlfriend looks harsher and...... (honestly) a bit scary.

Suddenly he feels the immense need to get away (perhaps to the other side of the city?) but her unblinking wide gaze pinned him down to his seat.

 

  
"Um.. I'm like really tired and it's nice to finally meet you but it'd been a long day and I guess I better go n.."

 

  
"Yunho-sshi.."

 

  
Yunho snapped his mouth shut as the girl drew closer - still smiling sweetly (he now knows how that poor little frog felt when in front of the rattlesnake in that Animal Discovery show he watched the other day ;__;)

"Ne?"

 

  
"Nothing~ I just want to get to know you more as Changmin has been talking so much about you before.."

Still with that scary gentle voice.

 

  
"He did?"

Yunho cheered up as he realized that his beloved dongseang thinks about him too when they were apart.

 

  
"Oh yes.. A  _lot_.. One might say, you're all he talks about actually.

How talkative you are. How you annoys him when you treat him like a kid instead of a grown man. How you never satisfied and keep pushing everyone over their limits during practice. How you gave him headache when you guys still live together.

Tell me, did you really flooded the kitchen when you forgot to close the washing machine's door properly that time? Oh, he was _really_ angry about that.."

  
She laughs brightly - the sounds caused Changmin to turn away from his little prank activity to look over to them and grinned widely at the warming sight of his girlfriend and Yunho talking together.

 

  
"Uh.."

Yunho blinks again - not really knowing what to say.

He didn't know that Changmin still so hung up on the long time ago washing machine incident that caused both of them had to live in the hotel for nearly a week, that he complaint to his girlfriend about it.

He felt bad and apologised of course but at the time Changmin just shook his head and pat Yunho on the head saying not to worry about it so much as Changmin should have known better than to leave Yunho unattended while he went for a holiday with Kyuhyun for a week without having someone to drop by the apartment every other day.

 

  
"And I of course told him that he should just let that go as after all he is most likely be stuck with you for long while since you guilt-trip him to keep being in the group with you.."

 

  
"I didn'.."

 

  
But she pressed on as if Yunho hasn't spoken at all,

"Plus if it was the other way round, you'll definitely forgive him and forget about the whole thing, wouldn't you?.. Because you are so nice.. 

 _Nicest_  celebrity Jung Yunho~"

 

 

She hums and inspects her nails nonchalantly while Yunho feels increasingly uneasy for reason he knows not why. 

 

  
"You know~ I remember when you got poisoned by the anti-fan years ago.. I was still young at the time but TVXQ already one of my favourite band.

When it was announced that you actually  _forgave_  the girl, wow. It was..  _wow_.. Like all my classmates were singing you praises on how sweet and nice you were..

Sweet sweet Jung Yunho oppa~"

She looked up and smiled (Yunho swallowed heavily - the pleasant buzz from the alcohol reduced to pounding ache in his head),

 

  
"But you want to know what I think?"

She leaned forward as she was standing up and whispers softly in his ear,

"I think~  it's a  _pity_  that she didn't succeed.."

 

  
With a gentle pat on his hand, she went over to Changmin - steps light and graceful, and gave her boyfriend a peck on the cheek and whispered something that caused the rest of the group to hoot and cheers when Changmin nodded and announced he's going to go home now. 

 

  
Leaving Yunho still on the couch - still in shock.

 

  
' _Oh_ '.

 

 

 

 

~tbc~ 

 

 

 

 


	2. PART 1 (Sticks and Stones)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She is not old, she is not young,  
> The Woman with the Serpent's Tongue.
> 
> The haggard cheek, the hungering eye,  
> The poisoned words that wildly fly.
> 
> The famished face, the fevered hand,  
> Who slights the worthiest in the land.
> 
> Sneers at the just, contemns the brave,  
> And blackens goodness in its grave.
> 
> ~ William Watson

 

 

_"Hey Min.. Do you.. I mean, have you ever like thought of.. you now, like this is where you don't.. you don't really wanna be?"_

  
_"Well, we just did the same steps for the past three hours and my legs feel like limp noodles.. So yeah, I could definitely say that this is **exactly** where I don't want to be.."_

 

  
_*chuckling*_

 _"Ba~ka.. That wasn't what I meant~.. I_ _'m just wondering if you have ever regret the decision to stay here.. with me.. as TVXQ._

_Or.. or maybe you wish that someone else that stayed instead of me.. Like Yoochun, maybe? You guys were close before, right?"_

 

  
_"....."_

 

  
_*Continue nervously*_

_"Because I totally understand if you feel that way. I mean, I'm not sure we could do anything about us being duo now but.. I.. uh.. I guess I could talk to someone._

_Perhaps you would like more solos? That would be good, right?"_

 

  
_"What the hell are you talking about, hyung? I don't **need**  nor want more solos. _

_I'm fine with the way we are now. So stop saying nonsense."_

 

  
_"I just don't want you to feel like you're being forced to be here. I don't want you to feel obligated to.."_

 

  
_"Okay, **stop**. Remember what I said about proving to the world that the path we're walking **wasn't** the wrong one? I have never regret my decision, hyung.. Not even once. _ _And I certainly didn't bust my ass  for that early enlistment just for you to play martyr and let TVXQ go._

 _S_ _o stop thinking about foolish things, alright.._

_Aish jinjja~ use your head for better stuff, like how could we convince choreographer hyung to let us go early tonight.."_

 

  
_"Ah.. Ah, ye.."_

_*pause*_

_"Changmin-ah.. Gomawo~"_

 

  
_*slight flush*_

_"Tch. Pabo-ya~ Who else if it's not me that you could talk to.."_

 

  
**************

 

  
  
She is everywhere.

 

  
Ever since that night, there wasn't a day that passes by that she wouldn't be around them: the studio, radio/tv station, restaurant, backstage, changing room... she even was around when they were having dance practice.

Nobody says anything about it however as judging by the besotted look on his face, it's pretty obvious Changmin just adores her and even though it's against the rule to have an outsider wandering around inside the company's building, Yunho cajoles everyone to just let her be - seeing how energetic and happy the maknae is when the girl is around.

 

  
As for himself~

Well... he took great care not to be left alone with her again.

  
He doesn't know why she doesn't like him but she is the girl that Changmin really likes so as a hyung, Yunho would do his damnedest not to create rift between them just for something so trivial. Changmin is too important to him..

 

  
He could take few insulting words.

He received  _far_  worse than that before anyway..

 

  
He realised that if Changmin  are forced to choose, the chances that Yunho will be the losing side is pretty huge.

And _that_ is something he couldn't risk.

 

  
So yeah, if Yunho purposely hanging back when everyone else crowding around Changmin's ' _cute_ ,  _sweet_ ' girlfriend; it's because he didn't want to initiate trouble  **not**  because he is jealous that his Changminnie doesn't shower him with as much attention as before as some of the make-up staff teased him when they noticed his quietness whenever Changmin's girlfriend was around - so unlike his usual jovial self.

 

  
But true to the saying ' _one can't keep running away_ ', one day Yunho found himself with the girl in the monitoring room of their recording room with Changmin on the other side of the glass - practicing his part in their new song.

The sound engineer who looks barely out of his teen was in there with him after Changmin complaint of some weird noise coming from his headphone.

 

  
So it was just the two of them and while Yunho threw nervous glances to his side every few seconds, the girl didn't say anything. Just waving at her boyfriend once in a while through the glass.

  
Yunho was just about to breath a sigh of relief and thought perhaps the animosity from the other was just in his own drunken imagination when she finally speaks.

 

  
"Changmin's really a great singer, isn't he?"

 

  
To his embarrassment, Yunho jumped a bit at her voice. Scolding himself mentally for being ridiculous, he hummed in agreement.

"Uh-huh.. he really is.. His voice is powerful and can cover wide vocal range.

Of course his high vocal is one of the best there is.."

Yunho can't help but smiled proudly as he looks at the younger man who by the look of it, still nagging at the poor boy with him.

 

  
"Yeah.. his voice can brings emotion to any songs.. Is it hard to keep up with him? You're more of a dancer, aren't you?"

She asked - voice still sweet and soft.

 

  
Yunho idly wonders if he should take offense for the informal way she speaks to him considering they're not close at all but decides to just let it go.

"Well yeah.. I like dancing but whatever it is, I'm still a singer first and foremost so~ it's good that our voices blend quite well together.

Changmin and I, have different way of singing but there is absolutely no one else I rather have by my side than him.."

 

  
She glanced to the side towards him.

"So it doesn't bother you that you're dragging him down to your level?"

 

  
Yunho was taken aback,

"Sorry.. Wha..?"

 

  
"C'mon Yunho-sshi we both know that while Changmin moves heart when he sings, you on the other hand~ just **_flat_**. Well, at least that's what all the fans are saying."

Looking at Yunho bewildered expression, she laughed

"Wait, you _do_ realise that your fans said that right??

Aww.. YUnho-sshi~ have you never wonder why Changmin doesn't let you to browse internet so much?

Our Changmin so kind, you see~ But I believe that sometimes we need to know the truth. So that we will work harder and won't troubled others into covering for our lacking..

Don't you agree, Yunho-sshi?"

 

  
"I.. I work  _hard_."

And how he hates that his voice sounds so unsure and small. He cleared his throat,

"I  _really_  work hard. You can ask Changmin.."

 

  
She smiled indulgently,

"I'm sure you do.. But is it hard  _enough_?

Don't get me wrong, I'm just looking out for Changmin here, you understand that right?

We wouldn't want him to be wasting his talent just because he's too sentimental and trying to carry the dead weight of the group.. I imagine as Changmin's hyung, you would want the best for him?"

 

  
"Yes.. yes, of course.."

Yunho looks through the glass just in time to see Changmin shook his head at the engineer and turned to rolled his eyes at Yunho.

 

Yunho smiled wanly back.

"I understand.."

He whispers

 

  
*********

 

  
Her words haunt Yunho all afternoon and after Changmin (finally) finished his part, it was Yunho's turn to record his.

 

  
For some reason, he feels nervous in doing something that he'd done a million times before.

For the first time he feels self-conscious at the thought people in the control room would hear his singing voice and be aware that they have to digitally altered those imperfect notes he's sure he would make.

 

  
And worse still, Changmin _insisted_ he wants to stay and watch even though Yunho urged him to go home already and they could practice together tomorrow.

And when Changmin is here, it means **she** will be here too..

 

  
_Judging_.

 

  
"Yunho-sshi?.. We're ready to start now.."

 

  
The tinny voice from his headset startled him out of his thought.

Licking his suddenly dry lips, he tried to look happy as he usually does and gave them a thumb-up indicating that he's ready.

  
  
He tried to shut down everything else and concentrate on the song but knew that he failed when the music stopped again and again when the people inside the control booth keep having to correct his tone.

 

  
" _No Yunho-sshi, your tone should be lower for that_ "

 

  
" _Yunho-sshi, maybe you could try to sing a bit higher for the chorus? Or else you and Changmin-sshi's voice won't blend_ "

 

  
" _Okay, can you do the bridge part again? It sounds a bit off._ "

 

  
And so it goes on and Yunho could feel his face is getting hotter by the minute for every single mistake he made.

He could tell everyone is really tired and is wondering what's wrong with the TVXQ leader.. 

 

No.

He doesn't want to do this anymore.

He wants to go home.

 

He wants to go out.

It's too suffocating in this small room.

He's not getting enough air.

 

Is it too cold in here? Or too hot?

He can feel himself breaking sweat and yet his hands are cold and clammy.

He can't think straight.

 

He needs to g...

 

  
Changmin said something to the guy when they have to stop for the nth time and just as Yunho about to get himself into a panic attack, Changmin slipped back into the recording room with him.

 

  
"Changmin-ah..."

Yunho starts.. to ask the maknae why he came in (or perhaps to just _pleads_ to Changmin to leave and take the girl with him).

 

  
But before he could continue, Changmin walks over and stand behind him.

  
The two cm difference (okay, so it was actually more than that) between them never seems so vast like they are now when the younger man pulls Yunho flushed against his body and rests his chin on Yunho's shoulder. 

  
  
Wrapping one arm around Yunho's waist, he pushed one side of the headset so his mouth is directly next to Yunho's earlobe and softly nuzzles the side of Yunho's throat and whispers,

"Sing, hyung..

Don't think. Just sing..

Relax and  _feel_ me.."

 

  
And with the maknae's voice singing softly right next to his ear and the warmth of the other's slim muscled body behind him, Yunho takes a deep breath and calms down.

He closes his eyes, feels and just .... sing.

 

 

And their voices, blended together

 _Beautiful_.

 

  
And nobody noticed the cold glare from behind the glass nor the sound of a pen snapped into two between slim delicate fingers.

 

 

  
~ _TBC (??)_ ~

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
> \- You know those girls that looks so sweet and innocent and everybody likes them coz they're so kind and perfect with everyone.. but actually are vicious and cruel and only to you? And so you can't complaint coz people would say that you're jealous or petty. And those girls who always so soft-spoken and gentle and yet her words are poisonous but you don't know if they deliberately out to hurt you or not coz everyone keep saying that she's so nice and so you didn't want people to think you're over-reacting? Yeah.. >.>
> 
> \- Now Yunho was affected little by little with her poisonous words and presence..
> 
> \- Some of you might protest that Yunho would never let some person words to bring him down. He's way smarter than that. Okay, I agree to some point. I believe if this person is talking bad about TVXQ or Changmin or anyone that Yunho cherished, he would never let them get away with it. But she is not a random person and she said it to HIM.. he won't believe all of of it but he WILL think of the words. Why? Because I think Yunho is the kind of person who will be hard on himself the most.. Worse, this girl is someone that Changmin likes. And there is absolutely NO ONE in this world that Yunho cherished and respect their opinions more than Shim Changmin. So if Changmin likes this person then there must be a reason why.  
> And i think Yunho would want to get along well with the person that Changmin likes so~ he is extra stressed here. He doesn't want to make Changmin feels uneasy because his groupmate cant get along with his girlfriend.


	3. PART 2 (May Break My Bones)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And like the moon  
> she had a side of her  
> so dark, that even the stars  
> couldn't shine on it;
> 
> She had a side of her  
> so cold, that even the sun  
> couldn't burn on it
> 
> ~ Abigail J.

 

_"Annyeonghaseyo.."_

  
  
  
_"Ahh.. Annyeonghaseyo.."_

  
  
  
_"Umm sorry to bother you but I think I got lost~ Can you tell me where the dance studio is?"_

_*smiling apologetically*_

 

 

_*blushed*_

_"Ah.. ye.. ye.. Um.. if you go out this door, turn right and walk straight until the end of the corridor. Turn left and there's a door to the stairs. Uh.. go up one flight and the dance studio should be right beside it."_

 

 

_*smiled sweetly*_

_"Oh, thank you so much. I'm afraid I would be running late.."_

 

 

_"Oh, are you here for  an audition?"_

 

 

_"You could say that~"_

_*Stepped closer*_

_"Why? Don't you think I'm pretty enough?"_

 

 

_*Flustered*_

_"No! I mean yes! I mean you **are**  beautiful! I'm sure you'll get in"_

 

 

_*Lick lips and hums softly*_

_"Thank you. I'm looking forward to eliminate those who against me~"_

 

 

  
_*confused*_

_"Eh?"_

 

 

  
_*Smiles sweetly*_

_"No~thing. So tell me, I read on the door there is a TVXQ sign? Is this their set? I can't see them?"_

 

 

  
_"Oh, this set is just for their MV shooting later tomorrow. They aren't here yet though.."_

 

 

  
_*Walks towards couple of thick hooks on the wall with several thick ropes and thin wires coiled around them and couple of safety harness attached*_

_"Oh really? And~ I'm guessing Yunho-sshi and Changmin-sshi would be dangling using these things, huh?_

_Wow~ scary.."_

 

 

  
_"Oh not to worry, I just checked them and they're as safe as could be~_

_Um.. Are you their fan?"_

 

 

  
_*Tilted head, lips pursed cutely*_

_"I'm more of **Yunho** -oppa fan~_

_Can I ask you a favor?_ _Can you tell me which one of these would Yunho-oppa wears?_

_I like him so much I just want to know... and **touch**  it~"_

 

 

  
_"Uh.. I dunno.. Nobody should be touching those except the tech guy, you see.."_

 

 

  
_*Large brown eyes widened*_

_"Please... I wouldn't tell anyone.. please... I'll be grateful forever~"_

 

 

  
_*Hesitated but gave in at the end*_

_"I... well, alright.. But you musn't tell anyone, okay?_

_And.. no picture!"_

 

 

  
_"Of course~ pinkie promise~"_

 

 

  
_*blushing from the cuteness overload*_

_"Ok.. Um, Yunho-sshi always wears the black one while Changmin-sshi is the dark green one."_

 

 

  
_*One hand trails lightly across the black safety harness*_

_"Hmm~ the **black**  one is it? He must look so pretty dangling like a pinned butterfly.."_

 

 

  
_"Huh?"_

 

 

  
_*starts singing softly*_

_"Up and up he goes.. snip, snip~ and butterfly will fly no more._

_Off with its wings, off with its head.._

_and pretty butterfly is dead dead dead..."_

 

 

  
_*starts to feel creepy*_

_"Uh M_   _iss? I think you better go now.. Your audition, remember?"_

 

 

  
_*Turns with a blank smile on her face*_

_"Yes.. audition.. I remember.._

_t_   _hank you.."_

 

 

  
_*watches her leave with a confused look on his face*_

_"Is that girl even right in the head??"_

 

 

  
***************

 

  
Park Jun Hee hums happily as he checked overhead lights of the studio.

 

The 20 years old young man had just started to work at SME last month as one of the technician (or running boy - his job description is rather  _vague_  really), thanks to his friend's sister who works in the PR department and felt sorry for her brother's friend who is all alone in the world with barely enough money to eat, let alone to continue studying.

 

  
Needless to say, Jun Hee is thankful for the job and promised to himself to work as hard as he possibly could so he won't embarrass Yeonsun noona..

 

Not that it was hard to enjoy his job..

Everyone here are so nice~

Sure, there are occasionally jerks that likes to bully new worker like him around but~ it was all in good spirits and nothing worse than coffee run anyway..

 

 

  
Best of all, he gets to rub shoulder with top idols of Korea~!

Who would've thought that one day Jun Hee would be standing close enough to Yoona SNSD that she asked him to pass her the water bottle or he would be assisting Taemin of Shinee with his mic check or those pretty Red Velvet girls would grab him to help them sneak in some forbidden greasy takeaway food.

 

 

  
All in all he really loves his work and would do nothing to jeopardize it.

 

 

  
Today he is  _especially_  excited for he was assigned to work on the set for Dong Bang Shin Ki latest MV shooting.

 

 

  
_**TVXQ**..._

 

 

  
Just the name makes Jun Hee wants to flail around like a schoolgirl.

He heard of their songs before from radio and he watched their music video on televisions when he passed by the electronic store. He used to daydream that he may one day be like them..

 

 

  
Famous.

Loved by  **millions**  around the world.

 

 

  
Even among the idols, they are considered as the most exclusive and Gods among idols.

 

 

  
Since he starts working at SME, he bumped into the duo exactly  _three_  times..

And all three times he froze in awe of their presence =.=;;..

 

 

Both Yunho-sshi and Changmin-sshi are so much cooler in real life..

Wait, Changmin-sshi is cool, Yunho-sshi is more of an adorable angel actually.

 

 

  
Saying that, he might have a teeny tiny man-crush on the TVXQ leader.

 

  
  
He can't help it~.. The man is just so kind and  _pretty_ =.=;;

 

  
And he remembers Jun Hee's name!! Even though Jun Hee kind of stammering it the first time they met.

One day, He even treat Jun Hee to lunch after he noticed the younger man didn't eat anything during lunch time because he is saving his money.

 

And while nobody said anything, Jun Hee knows that Yunho was the one responsible that every day after that, there will be food waiting for him - sometimes it might comes from the camera-hyung or wardrobe-noona or dancer-hyung... they all said the same thing:

That they accidentally made or buy extra which Jun Hee would believed except that he overheard a couple of them commented how nice of Yunho-sshi to care about the new worker.

 

  
  
"Jun Hee-ah~"

 

  
  
Jun Hee turned to see the man he admires bounded happily towards him.

"Ah ye Yunho-sshi.."

 

  
  
"Aish~ I told you to call me hyung~

How are you? Have you had breakfast yet?? There are some sandwiches and donuts and yogurts and milk and coffee..

I don't like coffee so much but Changmin does. I like milk but I wish they have strawberry milk too but Changmin said no or I'll be too hyper.

I have no idea what he's talking ab... why are you laughing?"

 

  
  
Jun Hee blinks and can't help but laughs at the older man's antics.. Yunho stopped talking and looked at the younger boy (who he kind of adopted as his own dongseang) confusedly.

 

  
  
"Maybe because he was wondering how on earth you could breathe when you're talking so much.."

 

  
  
Jun Hee quickly bowed at the other half of TVXQ - the charismatic Shim Changmin.

"Annyeong haseyo, Changmin-sshi.."

He greeted politely.

 

 

Unlike with Yunho, Jun Hee feels less comfortable with the TVXQ maknae - probably due to the man almost never talks to him...

just sometimes stares creepily at him whenever Yunho talks to Jun Hee.

 

  
  
Changmin nodded curtly to the younger man and turned back to Yunho with a soft smile on his face,

"Why are you so happy today, hyung? You haven't stop talking since we got here.."

 

  
  
Yunho shrugs and grin cheekily,

"Why? You want me all sad and quiet, is it?"

 

  
  
"Ani.. It's good to see you laughing. You've been quite withdrawn these days and you wouldn't tell me why.."

Changmin frowned a bit at this.

 

  
  
Just then a dancer came up to them and clapped on Changmin's back,

"Yo Min, that girl of yours didn't come today?"

 

  
  
Changmin was looking at the dancer hyung so he didn't noticed the slight stiffening of Yunho's shoulders at the mention of the girl but Jun Hee does and he also caught the slight shadow passing through Yunho's previously sunny expression.

He wonders what's going on between them and come to think of it...

 

' _Changmin-sshi has a girlfriend?? I always thought he and Yunho-hyung are..._ '

 

  
  
Jun Hee blinked and drew a sharp breath as he more or less ( _thinks_ ) grasped the situation. He looked over at Yunho is sympathy (and part regret) as the older man excused himself to go and strap himself to the harness first as the the first scene would be Yunho flying 'God-like' into the fiery pit.

 

Of course it means basically they going to swing him around on a rope with green screen around him and later use chroma key compositing to add in the background scene.

 

  
  
"Wait, you going up  _now_? Are you sure it's safe?"

Changmin stopped talking to the dancer to address Yunho who about to skip away.

 

  
  
Yunho wrinkles his nose,

"Changmin, how many times have we done this?? It's  **safe** ~ 'sides, Jun Hee already checked the straps. I'm sure our Jun Hee is the best!"

Yunho smiled at Jun Hee - making the younger man blushed at the compliment.

 

  
  
Changmin frowns but didn't comment anything on that.

 

  
  
Yunho rolled his eyes and walked back to his worrywart groupmate. He loops his arms around the other's shoulders and brings their foreheads together,

"Have a little faith in me, Changmin-ah~...  _I'm_  supposed to be the hyung, remember?"

He whispered.

 

  
  
Perhaps because he was new and thus not used to see them like this, Jun Hee feels like he's intruding on a private moment and he averted his eyes to give the two their privacy.

 

  
  
*****************

 

  
  
Nobody knows what happened exactly.

It was all so fast.

 

  
  
One moment Yunho was dangling high above near to the studio's ceiling - Jun Hee remembers hearing the man's excited laughter as he swings around.

 

  
  
Next thing he knows, someone screamed and pointed above and Jun Hee looked above just in time to watch in horror the harness's straps snapped and Yunho comes plummeting down.

He managed to flip around somehow and landed on a stack of wooden boxes nearby instead of falling head first onto the hard cement floor.

 

  
  
But the sound..

 

 

Oh God.. Jun Hee knows he would never forget the sound as soft flesh made impact with hard wooden surface.

.

  
  
The boxes broke into several hundreds pieces and the sight of Yunho's body frighteningly still on the floor (' _like a broken unwanted doll_ ') would forever etched in Jun Hee's mind.

 

 

  
  
"Hyung!"

 

  
  
Jun Hee rushed forward but Changmin was faster and by the time Jun Hee arrived, Changmin is already kneeling down next to Yunho, hands hovering as he wants to hold the unconscious man but at the same time is afraid to move the body just in case he would do more damage than good.

 

  
  
"Oh God.. Oh God.. Hyung.. wake up.. Yunho-hyung, please..

Someone called the ambulance! NOW!"

 

  
  
*************

 

  
  
Everything is in chaos.

 

The manager is talking frantically on the phone - calling the hospital (and everyone else in between).

People are pushing at each other to gather around  and whispering and pointing - few female staffs are crying.

 

  
  
Changmin ignores all of them and just keep whispering for Yunho while holding his hand and wiping the trail of blood from Yunho's forehead.

If he is crying himself, no one dares to say anything.

 

  
  
Then a whimper came from the slumped body.

Yunho stirred and opened his eyes - wincing and moaning..

 

  
  
"Hyung?.. Can you hear me? Don't move, okay? We gonna get you to the hospital and you'll be right as rain in no time.. Okay?"

Changmin asked softly - squeezing one of Yunho's hand tightly.

 

  
  
"Changmin-ah?"

Yunho blinked blearily up at his dongseang,

"Why are you crying? Are you okay?"

 

He tried to reach towards Changmin and the maknae grasped the hand and brings it up to press a kiss onto the knuckles.

 

  
  
"I'm okay, hyung.. It's you who got hurt. I told you that we're not doing superman concept and so no flying thing... Next time we listen to me and no argument about it, arasso?!"

Changmin tried to frown but all he could do is choking up the words.

 

  
  
"Okay.. My Changminnie knows best, right?"

Yunho smiles weakly.

 

  
  
"Damn right I do."

Changmin swallowed heavily and wiped another trail of blood down Yunho's cheek.

"You got to stop giving me heart attack, Yunho-ya... This is not okay."

He brushed back a lock of hair soaked red with blood off Yunho's forehead.

 

  
  
"I'm sorry... 'twas an accident.."

Yunho winced again and whimpers,

"Changmin... it hurts.."

 

  
  
"Dammit! Where's the damn ambulance?!..

Hang on hyung.. I know it hurts but just hang on, okay?.."

 

  
  
"Changmin.. can I have strawberry milk later?"

 

  
  
"Baby, I'll buy you the whole damn factory if you would just hold on for me.."

Changmin pleads.

 

  
  
"Coming through.. Excuse me people! Back off!"

 

  
  
****************

 

  
  
Jun Hee lets himself get pushed to the side as the paramedic finally arrived.

He watches as YUnho-hyung was strapped to the stretcher - the man had fallen unconscious again and the sight of his head lolling about on top of the stretcher hurts Jun Hee's heart.

 

  
  
Changmin-sshi himself watched with a lost look on his face as they carried Yunho away.

One of the staff braves herself and approached the singer to get him cleaned up before he goes to the hospital - the previously pale pink shirt and white slacks look a mess with dust and streaks of blood adorning it.

 

  
  
The singer passed by Jun Hee when he suddenly stopped and turned.

 

  
  
A sudden explosion of pain bloomed across Jun Hee left cheek and he flew backward into a couple of dancers standing behind him and fell down to the floor.

He looked over in shock to see Changmin's furious face as the other man standing above him. Jun Hee could feel something warm and wet trickling down his nose and corner of his split lips.

 

  
  
"Just know I'm holding you  _personally_  responsible for this. He trusted you to checked the harness, you bastard! What the  **fuck**  did you do?!!"

Changmin growled- hands still clenched into fists by his side.

 

  
  
"Changmin-ah, we don't have time for this .. We'll get to the bottom of this, I promise. Come on ... Yunho needs you now, remember?"

The make-up noona gently lead the singer away - all the while talking soothingly to him.

 

  
  
"I... I really checked it thoroughly.."

Jun Hee said softly, still holding his bruised cheek.

 

  
  
"Then I think we have a problem.."

One of the staff said holding something out to Jun Hee.

 

  
  
On his hand is Yunho's black safety harness with both of the shoulders straps looked cleanly cut nearly in half in oppose to the frayed edges of the other half where it snapped when it unable to support Yunho's weight due to the tampering.

 

 

 

~TBC(??)~

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Just in case anyone confused: Jun Hee was the guy that the girl 'asked for direction' to at the start. He's new and so he never met her before plus he's just too innocent to know something is fishy bout the girl.. AND because everyone (except certain people) already familiar with seeing her around, they think nothing when she wanders about on her own..
> 
> \- I know some of you might notice Changmin calling Yunho 'Baby' in here once.. I'll have you know that it doesn't mean that it was a slash 'suddenly-i'm-gay-I-want-to-sex-you-up' moment. It's more of a 'you-idiot-hyung-why-you-make-me-worry-like-this-God-don't-leave' moment.. The slash WILL come later of course. But for now, it was just an auto response to the situation.
> 
> \- If you noticed, I never gave this girl a name. At first, I kept putting it off because I can't find a suitable one for her but then as i continue writing and i got to know this character more and more, I've decided I don't want to give her a name. Part of it because I want the readers to freely imagine whoever they want as the character and another (bigger) part of it was because I don't think she deserves it.
> 
> \- Fun fact: This fic was inspired by a dream i had of them (TVXQ)


	4. Author's Note

Sorry guys.. This is not an update. 

 

Just wanna inform you that i am in japan (to watch TVXQ concert!!! ) so there'll be no update for the next 2 weeks...

I was supposed to post a new chapter the night b4 i left but i fell asleep... Gomen gomen ^^;;;

Anyway whoever is in Osaka area now, feel free to hit me up~ :) 


	5. PART 3 (Don't Go Where I Can't Follow)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Him.  
> His smile  
> His eyes  
> His voice  
> His laugh  
> His warmth  
> His existence  
> Him.

 

 

 

 

 

It was the smell that first alerted Yunho that he might not be in his own comfortable bed or even in his apartment.

 

The strong smell of disinfectant, coupled with the coarse feel of the sheet underneath his hand; not to mention the faint beeping of a heart monitor convinced him that he definitely back in the place where if they have membership card, Yunho would most assuredly be shoo-in for its Triple Platinum member.

 

 

In other words: he's in the _hospital_.

 

He slowly opened his heavy lids - bracing himself for the bright light that surely would greet his eyes.

 

 

Surprisingly, it wasn't that bad~

 

Sure he could feel the incoming headache creeping from the base of his skull, but at the moment the drug mixed in the iv drip that is attached to his right hand, is still doing their job and keep the worst of the pain at bay.. 

And someone had drawn the blinds close across the window so that the afternoon sun cast soft filtered warm sunlight into the room.

 

 

He felt like he had slept for years but still feel so tired though.

 

 

Licking his dry lips, he noticed a pitcher of water and a plastic glass on the bedside table and reaches out his left hand to get them...

 

 

Or at least he  _tried_ to.

 

 

His left arm feels heavy and numb.  
He raised his head - ignoring the sore and stiff muscles screaming in protest, to see a very familiar and endearing figure sleeping by his bedside with Yunho's hand firmly tucked in between that slightly rounded cheek (that could  _amazingly_ look like chipmunk when stuffed full of food) and the bed.. as if the owner is scared that someone would come and spirit Yunho away if he didn't hold on to him at every second.

 

Yunho smiled fondly and try to wriggle out his hand out from underneath Changmin's cheek as gently as he could so as not to wake the younger man up.

 

 

But just as he starts moving, the maknae was startled awake and promptly grabbed Yunho's hand with a panicked gasp,  
"Wha... what!!"

 

 

It was then he realised that his hyung is looking straight back at him instead of just lying there.. He jumped up and starts checking Yunho, cupping that small face between his hands,

  
"I.. you're  _awake_! Are.. are you alright? Do you feel hurt anywhere?

Wait, you do remember who I am right? Or.. or who you are?

I'm Changmin..  _Your_ Changmin..

And you are a singer. We.. US.  **Both**.. In the same group. TVXQ! It's just the two of us, well actually there were 5 before but ugly  _long_ story there and...

Oh my God, you're  _awake_.. I.. I should get the doctor, right? Wait, why am I asking you??? _You_ justwoke up.

Changmin, stop being an idiot.. Okay, breat.."

 

 

Yunho can't help himself and starts laughing at the younger man who is by now frantically first running to the door before coming back to Yunho and talking a mile a minute.

This is the first time he ever seen the maknae in such panic mode... well actually there was this other time when it was announced that Twinkies would be discontinued and Changmin literally was  _hyperventilating_ at the news that Yunho had to bribe the local supplier to order a 5 months supplies of the snack especially for the younger man =.=;;.

 

 

The sweet cheery sound broke Changmin out of his panic babbling and suddenly the tension knot that he wasn't even aware he had, loosen up and he dropped back onto the hard plastic chair.  
He stares at the giggling man on the bed and a sudden flood of emotions that he can't even  _begin_ to comprehend overwhelmed him so much so, that it took all he has not to break down and cry like a baby.

It only been around 15 hours or so since he last seen those brown eyes crinkled with laughter but  _damn_ if it didn't feel like years.. 

 

 

He could feel his throat tighten up, skin hot... eyes welling up with hot tears.

Not wanting Yunho to worry, Changmin leaned back against the chair's back and looked above to the ceiling - trying to compose himself and trying desperately not to let these pesky tears fell..

' _Pabo-ya Changmin.. why are you crying? He's awake and seems well now.. you should call the doctor now, not blubbering like a fool here.._ '

 

 

"Changmin... Changmin-ah~ look at me please..."

 

 

Changmin ignores the sweet voice calling softly to him, just takes few shuddering breaths - determines to gain his composure back before he could face his ~~lov~~ \- hyung again.

 

 

Yunho leaned forward and grabbed one of Changmin's hand in his.

"Changmin-ah...  _please_..."

 

He swings their hands in between the bed trying to get the younger man to just look at him already.

 

 

Finally Changmin relented and looked straight back at Yunho with a hint of glare in his eyes -  _daring_ Yunho to say anything on his red-rimmed eyes.

 

 

But Yunho didn't say anything.. Just smiles gently and tugged Changmin's hand to rest on his chest where the maknae could feel the loud and steady  _thump-thump_ 'ing of Yunho's heart.

 

 

"I'm here, Minnie.... Sure, I might have killer headache from Hell tomorrow~ but.. see~? I'm  ** _still_** here, Min-ah..."

 

  
And that broke the younger man.

 

  
With a choking sound, Changmin lunges forward and grabbed Yunho into a tight hug. 

"Hyung.. I was so scared... You fell and.. and then you just  _lay_ there.. and.. and.. I don't .. you.. you  _can't_.. Not again, okay?

Please.. I.. I can't~"

 

 

Yunho strokes and pats Changmin's back reassuringly.

Through the thin shirt, the maknae's skin feels hot to Yunho's touch..

 

 

And if he could feel the seeping wetness on his neck where Changmin is nuzzling his face against, well.. Yunho didn't comment on it.

 

  

In spite of all his sassiness, sometimes fierce/cold attitude and  **great** love of trolling everyone in general (regardless of whether they're older than him or not), Changmin is still a maknae at heart (yes, Yunho fully aware that he dotes on and spoiled Changmin more than how anyone else treats their own maknae).

He will be forever Yunho's baby.. and nothing can change that.

 

 

"I can't even do anything... All I can see is you falling again and again and I just... Please hyung... You.. You can't leave me. You promised me you wouldn't..."

 

  

"Arasso.. arasso, Min-ah..

Hyung is sorry for making you worry, okay? I promise I'll be more careful.."

 

 

**********************

 

 

"So what happens now? Am I in big trouble for messing up the shooting schedule?"

Yunho asked - sitting up and currently playing idly with Changmin's hand.

 

 

Somehow both of them is quite reluctant to let go of each other.

 

 

"Hyung, of course nobody blames you for getting hurt. It wasn't even your fault!

Apparently they found traces of tampering on your shoulder straps.."

 

 

Yunho blinked in confusion,

"Tampering? What do you mean?"

 

 

"Your straps were cut nearly halfway through so they can't support your weight..

But don't worry, they already arrested the suspect.. Our lawyers going to make sure that fucker will rot in jail for a  _very_ long time, trust me." 

Changmin said with a hard glint in his eyes - causing Yunho to shiver inside at the cold look.

 

 

Yunho frowned - wondering who could hates him enough to do that ,  
"Really? That was fast..

Who... who was it?"

 

 

"It was that that new worker. It was practically open and shut case. His fingerprints are all over the equipment and he was the only one that's been in the set since yesterday..

It's okay hyung, I promise he won't get to you ever again."

 

 

"Wait..  _what_?? Jun Hee?? **_Jun Hee_** is the suspect??

That's impossible! I know him. He wouldn't do something like this.."

 

 

Changmin sighed. 

 

This is the problem with Yunho..

He trusts too easily and doesn't seems to grasp the concept that one should be more cautious with strangers - no matter how many times he got hurt.

 

 

That's why Changmin is determines to make sure no more harm could come to his hyung - not if he could help it. 

"Hyung.. listen. Not everyone is as nice as you like them to be.. I'm sorry but that's the way the world is.

And I'll be damned if you think I would just let you skipping along - getting hurt just because you can't accept that some people just  _cannot_ be helped!"

 

 

"Changmin-ah.. Please... Jun Hee is a **good** kid. I  _know_ that..  All he wants is just to live his life honestly to the best as he could..

 Please Min~ he doesn't even have any family.. He can barely afford to _eat_! 

Don't ruin his future.. You know our lawyers would eat him alive! I'm sure there must be some other explanation and it was just an accident. I wasn't even hurt badly as it is..

Help him, Min.. Please.."

 

 

Changmin grits his teeth as he looked at Yunho's earnest pleading face. He subconsciously grips Yunho's hand tighter until the skin turned mottled red and the other man is wincing, 

"What's  _wrong_ with you?! Why are you so concern with that bastard?

He tried to  _kill_ you! Do you even understand what that means??!! 

This is not some drama where you get to be the martyr and everybody would miraculously repent for their sins at the end. This is  **real life**! So wake the fuck up, hyung!"

 

 

Yunho yanked his hand away - eyes wide with hurt at every harsh word coming out from the younger man's mouth,

"I'm not stupid! So I trust people.. So  _what_?! Is being trusting so wrong?!"

 

 

"If it gets you hurt, then  **yes**!!"

Changmin shouted - moving forward suddenly and aggressively, causing Yunho to backed away until he found himself lying back on the pillow with Changmin's arms braced on either side of his head. The crashing sound of the plastic chair hitting the cold floor rang throughout the room.

 

 

They stare at each other for few seconds before Changmin huffed and straightened up.

 

 

He takes a step back and few deep breaths as he tries to calm himself. Shaking his head, he ran a hand over his face in frustration,

"Listen, you just woke up and I  _really_ don't want to argue.

I'm sorry I shouted... I'm going to find a doctor now to check on you."

 

 

He turned and walks away but soft voice stopped his stride.

 

 

"Will you come back?"

 

 

Without turning around, his voice is equally soft as he answered,

"I will always come back to you..."

 

 

"Changmin... about Jun Hee... please.. he's not...

Please.. for me.."

 

 

This time he walks out without saying anything - letting the door shut with a firm click behind.

 

 

Changmin stands in the corridor, leaning against the door for couple of seconds. Looking above, he sighed tiredly.

 

 

********************

 

 

After informing the nurse at the nurse station that the patient in Room 403 had woken up and requires a doctor to check on him, Changmin goes to find their manager - who apparently is nodding off in the visitors' lounge. 

 

 

Seeing the other half of his care coming towards him, the manager quickly got to his feet.

 

 

"How is Yunho?" 

He asked nervously.

If anything happened to one of the Golden Child (Changmin is the other one) of SME, it will be his ass on fire - as warned by the president.

 

 

"He just woke up and now the doctor is checking in on him."

 

 

The manager-hyung breathes a sigh of relief and about to offer Changmin a hug but stopped short at the younger man's cold look. Unlike the almost-always sunshiny happy Yunho, dealing with Changmin is like walking into a landmine without a map.

One wrong step could lead to explosion..

 

"Um.. is anything the matter, Changmin-ah?"

 

 

"Hyung, I want to know every update regarding this case.. Give me all the information regarding that new worker, Jun Hee.. 

And hyung, Yunho doesn't need to know about this,  _arasso_?"

 

 

The manager bowed his head,  
"I understand.."

 

 

One just doesn't mess with Changmin if they know what's good for them.

 

 

************************************

 

  

Jun Hee looks around the small dark room nervously.

 

 

He was picked up by a couple of burly police officers two hours before from SME Building.

 

 

The shocked, disgusted looks on everyone's faces would forever burned into his memory. He insisted that he had nothing to do with Yunho-hyung incident but no one believes him.

In fact, he was backhanded by SME bodyguards as they dragged him out. 

 

  

Needless to say, Jun Hee doubts he would ever be allowed to step back inside the building regardless how this would turn out. 

 

 

He looks at the big mirror on the opposite wall.  
If all the crime shows he watched on television is correct, then there must be people watching him from the other side.

 

 

Judging...  _Observing_..

 

 

Jun Hee wonders what do they see when they look at him.

 

 

Just another skinny homely boy?

 

.... Or a man capable of harming another human being..

 

 

Just then the door opened and two men walk in.

One of them is holding a thick file which he placed carefully on the glossy metal table in between them before taking a seat in the chair that is directly opposite of Jun Hee.  
The second man swings his own chair backward so he could sit while resting his arms on the chair's back and stares at Jun Hee.

 

 

"Park Jun Hee.. My name is Detective Lee Gwang Seol and this is Detective Bae Woo Hyun."

The man who sit in front of Jun Hee introduced themselves.

 

 

"Umm.. Annyeonghaseyo.. Uh.. Do.. do I need to call a lawyer?" 

Jun Hee asked - unsure on what is expected of him.

 

 

"Well Mr Park, we're not arresting you yet.. We just want to talk.. Ask you few questions, give you a chance to explain.

Of course you could call a lawyer if you so wish.. But things might get a bit harder for you afterward." 

Detective Lee said - voice impassioned and direct.

 

 

"Oh.. Um okay.. I can't afford to call anyone anyway.."  
He smiles tentatively but neither detectives look very sympathetic let alone friendly.

 

 

"Alright then.." 

Detective Lee looked down at the open file in front of him, 

"Mr Park, I understand that you mentioned there was a girl that came for an audition yesterday? And that she asked  _specifically_ about Mr Jung's harness?"

 

 

"That's right. She was being quite creepy too.. Singing about dead butterfly and such.."

 

 

Mr Lee nodded and looked down to the report again,

  
"Okay.. But the thing is Mr Park, according to the report, there was  **no** audition scheduled yesterday nor there was such a girl authorised to be in the set. Even the CCTV didn't pick up anyone unusual.. So... would you like to revise your story now? If you confess, we could convince the prosecutor to be easier on you.."

 

 

"What? No. I'm not confessing to something I didn't do! I  _like_ Yunho-hyung.. Why would I want to harm him?! I have nothing to do with this. I'm innocent!" 

Jun Hee starts getting agitated.

 

 

"Calm down Mr Park.. We're all just trying to find out what happened that's all...

Okay, say we believed you and you really didn't mean to harm Mr Jung.. Lets talk about what happened 6 years ago instead, shall we.." 

Detective Lee closed the file and leans forward expectantly.

 

 

"S... six years ago?" 

Jun Hee narrowed his eyes.

 

 

Detective Bae smirks unpleasantly and chimed in,

"Yes, six years ago..

You know~ when you killed your own parents and ran away.." 

 

 

 

_~TBC~_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- So~ what the hell is up with our Jun Hee?? What is this sudden k-drama plot twist I randomly threw in here just for the heck of it?? Is Jun Hee really a bad guy? I think someone needs a back story of his own~ ^^;; 
> 
> \- Nway, I just got back from Osaka couple of days ago. Firstly, huge apology to Kazuki.. somehow we just kept missing each other's messages >.<;; 
> 
>  
> 
> WARNING: rants below has nothing to do with the fic. Just me sharing MY experience and venting out my frustration (and also maybe coz I'm in bad mood). 
> 
>  
> 
> \- Secondly, i went to their concert. I kinda had mixed feelings regarding my experience this time. No, it has nothing whatsoever to do with Changmin/Yunho. My darlings were perfect as always~.. Yunho is the prettiest sunshine sex kitten sweetheart with hips that definitely never lie. Changmin is funny goofy one moment and sexy alpha aura the next. Compares to their concerts I've attended before, they were both a bit calmer this time around.. Especially Changmin who (as far as i know) never misses any opportunity to tease and troll Yunho. But I found out that Changmin's parents and Yunho's 85 Club friends were there too that evening so i guess maybe that was the reason they (especially Changmin) behaved themselves so much ^^;;;
> 
> \- I was kind of disappointed with some fans however.. There were some of them (yes, i SAW you guys) who left just before Yunho's solo and only came back after it to watch Changmin solo. Now people would tell me 'Criz, they might need to go to the toilet.. that's all~'..  
> Well this apparently been happening again and again throughout this tour. These so-called TVXQ fans PURPOSELY left during Yunho solo.. just because. They only like Changmin. So no, i refused to call them TVXQ fans. They definitely are Changmin-only fans.  
> I am livid. Period.  
> To these so-called fans: You think you are showing your loyalty to Changmin by slighting Yunho like that? You think Changmin would feel appreciated and encourage you do this to Yunho? Let me tell you this, NONE of us fans is bigger fan of Yunho than Shim Changmin.  
> If Changmin knows you did this on purpose, he would be the first person to tell you to fuck off and don't bother to come back. Don't believe me? Go on... Go to one of their fansign and tell Changmin yourself what you did in the name of 'supporting' him. Letssee what he would say~ >:(
> 
> \- My experience with Japanese fans in previous concerts were usually amazing. But somehow~ not on that day. My sister and I received a glare right from the very second we sat down from this one auntie sitting in front of us. Now you might think 'Criz, maybe you were loud and rude?'. Honey, I myself hate rude people and even though the concert hadn't started yet, both of us barely talk to each other. We literally just arrived and sat down. And this Auntie (She could be younger than I thought but she looked old so I'mma just gonna keep calling her Auntie) kept turning and glaring at us. Maybe because we obviously not Japanese.  
> Worst: She was one of the fan that left during Yunho's solo.  
> She was also wearing a Bigeast jacket and I cant help but think 'what the heck happened to previously friendly and welcoming Japanese fans??'
> 
> Don't get me wrong, I had a good time.. It was just~a bit different than usual, that's all~


	6. INTERLUDE (The Song Of Park Jun Hee)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Side story - The origin of our Jun Hee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING:  
> Nothing graphic BUT..  
> \- Mention of child abuse (physical, emotional and sexual).  
> \- Mention of drug/alcohol abuse  
> \- Mention of underage rape
> 
> ** Please read Author's end note.

 

 

**THE SONG OF PARK JUN HEE**

 

 

_There was a boy named Park Jun Hee_

_With the kindest heart as one could be_

_T'is unfortunate his story won’t be as sweet_

_For even the gentlest soul could be defeated_

 

_In early years he lives with his parents_

_Drugs, drinks and gambling; mom and dad of the year they certainly aren’t._

_They told him they wished he was never born._

_They didn't even seem to care that their son’s heart was torn._

_They blamed the child for all of their heartache and pain._

_Didn’t they realized getting abuse might drive a child insane?_

_What he given them were love and devotion._

_But all Park Jun Hee ever got was his parents constant rejection._

 

_Kicking and screaming_

_Yelling for help_

_Mom sits and drinks_

_While dad grabs his belt_

_Slap in the face_

_Thrown against the wall_

_Beaten senseless_

_Will no one help at all?_

 

_The bruises always there_

_Neighbors only stare_

_Peers and teachers learn to ignore_

_“Why care? he’s just a son to an addict and a whore”_

 

_Face in black and blue_

_Arm once broken in two_

_Swollen eyes could hardly see_

_Twisted ankles and dislocated knee_

 

_And as he lay in bed with ribs achin’_

_Park Jun Hee wonders what even is the point of living_

 

_Then one night it all came to a head_

_He woke up and found men around his bed_

_As they tore into his clothes, he screamed and shouted_

_His parents at the door and Jun Hee pleaded_

_All hope for help was completely dashed however_

_When he heard his mom telling they better hurry up and pay her_

_They tossed the couple a thick wad of money,_

_while grabbing their son’s face and forced a kiss roughly._

_He knows he would never forget his dad’s cruel words_

_“Guess even you has your usefulness”_

 

_The world dissipates into dark painful haze_

_Helpless and hopeless, just accepting his fate_

_Only 14 years old and already his innocence was lost_

_Dearest Mom & Dad, yes you needed the money but at whose cost?_

 

_Something was born inside Jun Hee that night_

_A demon that thirst to fight his right_

_He knows now no help will come gallopin’_

_Only fairytales have happy endings_

_Killed or be killed, that’s the rule of this world_

_Stop being a victim and starts being the hunter._

 

_The plan was really quite easy_

_After all, no one pays that much attention to ‘stupid little Jun Hee’_

_Information are all at tips of one’s fingers_

_All that is left is the courage to squash any doubts that lingers_

 

_Mix and match among the drugs_

_Made mom and dad’s mind slow as slugs_

_Couple of crushed pills in their drinks_

_Watched them fell with hardly a blink_

_Sharpened knife all ready by side_

_He felt something inside him further died_

 

_As he hacked them however, Jun Hee never realizes_

_Tears were streaming from his eyes_

_For this is it, can never turn back_

_His once pure heart had turned black_

 

_With no fixed direction, he ran away after_

_To the big city he went to disappear_

_For he longs the place where he would be accepted_

_No longer afraid, no longer neglected_

_All he wants is to be someone’s loved one_

_Few little hugs and maybe even a “Well done, son”_

_Choking and desperate for crumbles of affection_

_Do you believe in one’s soul redemption?_

 

_Now he is in search for where he could be free_

_To start the new song of Park Jun Hee._

 

 

 

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Why was this chapter is in this poem-like format? I honestly have no clear answer to that. Part of it maybe because domestic abuse is not a subject I'm very familiar with and so to write it in my usual 3rd person pov (which will include a whole lot more details and descriptions) was a bit hard and also I don't want to get too detailed about it as I don't want to trigger anyone reading this and I don't want to insult them by accidentally describing it wrong.  
> Another part of it because i thought it would be fun to do something different than my usual style.
> 
> \- I'm pretty sure it was obvious I've NEVER write a poem-style story.. not once, in my entire life. It was really REALLY hard.. I have new found respect for anyone who had write even one poetry before.. I must've read hundreds of poems just to get the feel of it and how to go about it. All those poems on abuse, love and general life were all swirling inside my head (I hope I didn't subconsciously copied any of them) and is giving me headache ^^;;  
> Anyway, I hope you guys will enjoy this chapter nonetheless and not think it is too weird. (Please forgive me for thinking I am able to write in this style.. I was wrong. This is horrible.. I suck at rhyming!! ^^;;). Honestly, i kept asking myself what the hell as i was writing this chapter. I wanted to delete it even but~ by then i was already halfway through and.. i don't know~.. it sucks but... it's also mine. 
> 
> \- This is the origin story of Jun Hee. I read that some of you would like to know his background story, so here it is.. No, it wasn't a happy one. If you read this series before, you will noticed that the previous version didn't have this chapter as I was more focused on ChangminHo. But this time around, despite him being just a side character, I like Jun Hee and I think I owed it to him to tell his story (considering what's coming for his storyline ^^;;)
> 
> \- However I would like to state here that Jun Hee's past will NOT be part of the main story and this chapter here is just for us to know him a bit more.  
> There would be no drama for Jun Hee regarding his past (for now.. i might change my mind later). 
> 
> \- I am not sure if I should add more warning tags or not. Just to be safe, I will up the rating to Teen.


	7. Part 4 (Road To Hell..)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The persona is a complicated system of relations between individual consciousness and society,  
> fittingly enough a kind of mask, designed on the one hand to make a definite impression upon others,  
> and, on the other, to conceal the true nature of the individual"
> 
> ~ Carl Jung

 

 

 

 

 

 

"So? What do you think?"

  

 

Detective Bae Woo Hyun looked over his partner, Lee Gwang Seol and leaned back against the table, sighing.  
"I don't know... I mean, he was passionate in defending himself in the Jung Yunho's case but clammed up the moment we talked about his parents.

We've been questioning him for hours and **_nothing_**.

Personally, I think he _did_ do one of the crime and is innocent of the other.."

 

 

Gwang Seol nodded, sipping his  ~~horrible 'what the fuckery is this'~~  coffee.  
"Question is, which **one**?

One case we have absolute  _zero_ evidence against him - except that it was mighty suspicious that he disappeared right after his parents are dead... While the other, we have chock-full of evidence against him and it's like prosecutor dream case. No hassle, practically a **direct** ticket to jail.."

 

 

"That is, if you're talking about  _physical_ evidence.."

 

 

"What do you mean?"

 

 

Woo Hyun shrugged,

"Think about it. From the record, we know that Park Jun Hee was abused by parents and there were even rumors that they ' _rent_ ' him out to support their drug habits.

Bam! There you go:  **motive**.

But with Jung Yunho, all we got from Jun Hee's colleagues is that the kid _absolutely_ adores him. Yunho-sshi is one of those few people that Jun Hee feels comfortable enough to call ' _hyung_ '.

So why would he wants to hurt the person he greatly admires? It doesn't make sense.."

 

 

"Who knows what went through the head of a guy like Park Jun Hee.. He's been living on the street, **_ALONE_ **since he was like 14.. I'm telling you, this kid is no innocent.."

 

 

Woo Hyun nodded, pursing his lips  
"No, he's not innocent but~ I' don't know, man.. I just feel like there's more to the story than what we are seeing.."

 

 

Gwang Seol was just about to tease his usually stoic partner for suddenly discovering his inner _maternal_ side for the street kid when a police officer knocked on the pantry's door.

"Uhm guys? You know where Park Jun Hee is? The court's D.A is here to see him."

 

 

"What do you mean? He is in the questioning room - where we left him.

Where else _would_ he be?"

 

 

"Uh no~ he's **not** and that was what _I_ just asked you.."

 

 

Woo Hyun and Gwang Seol looked at each other in alarm before dropping their coffee cups and ran to the room where they last left Park Jun Hee.  
And just like the officer's said, the room is empty.

 

 

"Fuck."  
Gwang Seol cursed - punching the door in frustration.

 

 

The officer poked his head into the room and shook his head,  
"I'll say~ You guys lost the suspect? S.M.E lawyers gonna be all over this one, man... The chief gonna bust your ass for sure. Better find him back asap~"

 

 

*********

 

 

For the life of him, Jun Hee never thought busting out of a police station would be so  _easy_.

 

Heck, it was like walking through an open door - come to think of it, he  _did_ simply walked out the semi-open door which the two detectives forgot to lock

(which: what the  _hell_?? Is this the kind of security that people's tax money pay for?? Incompetent idiots all these policemen are..)

 

 

But Jun Hee knows that he better find a place to hide soon before his luck runs out.

 

 

But~... where could he go??  
He doesn't know anybody.. well, except his friend's sister but after what happened, he doubt she would want to see him.

 

 

In the end, there's only one place he could think of really....

  
The one place no one would ever expect him to go to.

 

  

  
********************************************************************************************

 

 

"Ne Oppa~.. Are you already on the way? I'm making your favourite Hobak-o.."

 

 

"Oh.. damn.. hey, I'm sorry but I can't make it today. Yunho-hyung is getting discharge so I'm going to bring him home and see that he's settled."

 

 

She gripped the phone so hard that one of her nail cracked -

 

 

 

 

"Ye Oppa~ But I'm sure Yunho-oppa is capable of taking care of himself.."

  

 

"Ani.. It's not that.. I just.. need to make sure he's alright. I nearly lose him and I can't go through that again.."

 

 

Gritting her teeth, she forced herself to calm down and said sweetly,

"I understand Oppa.. Yunho-oppa is very important to you~ But am I not important too? Do you remember what day toda..."

 

"Shit. Gotta go. Yunh.. Hyung! I told you to wait fo.."

 

*** _click_ ***

 

Breathing deeply, she listens to the dial tone for few seconds - face blank and calm as she lets the sound mocking her.

 

Before turning around and threw the phone to the mirror hanging on the across wall.

 

As if in a trance she walked towards the broken mirror - mindless of sharp shards cutting into her delicate feet.

Tilting her head, she looks into her distorted reflection and raised a hand to stroked those sharp edges.

 

What else is lacking in her?

 

Is she not the prettiest and sweetest there is?

 

 

  
Didn't she sacrificed  _everything_ to be with Changmin?

 

 

  
Didn't she discarded the ugly duckling she was and turned into this beautiful swan for him?

Only for him.

 

No.

It wasn't her fault.

 

It's  **HIS** fault.

 

 

_He_ never loves Changmin as she does

  
He never had to stand outside in the rain for hours - nearly dying of hypothermia afterwards, just to catch a glimpse of an angel.

  
He never to be called crazy and delusional just because (s)he sold off the family's jewelries to go and follow her one true love wherever he goes.

 

 

  
And had he been beaten and spat on and chased away by huge bodyguards just because (s)he's not as pretty as other fans?! - who were sluts by the way they were batting their eyes at **HER** love.

 

And she bet that he certainly never had to burn his family's home and watched as everyone suffocated in their sleep and (s)he was the only lucky ' _survivor_ ' and beneficiary to all the insurance money.

 

 

How about countless hours of enduring pain while going through multiple surgeries to change her whole appearance? _He_ **never** had to go through with that..

 

 

 

Yes,

she thought as she smiles prettily into her own broken reflection,

 

 

**SHE** is the most worthy of Changmin's affection.

 

 

And  _damn_ if she's going to let some.... some **fag** to steal him from her.

 

 

 

****************************************************************************************************

 

 

 

"Changmin-ah~ You don't have to escort me to the door like some girl~ In fact, you shouldn't even pick me up from the hospital.

Manager-hyungie said that he coul.."

 

 

"I'm _so_ happy to see that falling nearly two stories high and bumping your head on wooden boxes doesn't  affect your babbling ability"

Changmin said dryly.

 

When Yunho just tilt his head in confusion, Changmin sighed and shook his head  
"Just let me do this, okay hyung? Please..?"

 

 

At the quiet tone of the younger man, Yunho bit his lips and just nodded - not wanting to upset Changmin any further.

 

 

"Keys?"  
Changmin held up his hand.

 

 

Wordlessly, Yunho handed it to him.  
One look at the trying-to-look-blank-but-actually-is-pouting face, Changmin shook his head and chuckles.

 

 

"Yunho-hyung~"  
He called out affectionately,  
"Can't you give me a smile? At least I didn't drag you to my house for me to keep an eye on you 24/7..

You _know_ that would be my first choice, right?"

 

 

Thinking of the horror of that would bring * **cough** * _Changmin's girlfriend_ * **cough** *, Yunho made a face and finally relented and give the younger man a sweet little smile.  
"I know that you love me Changmin-ah~"

 

 

Changmin rolled his eyes but gives Yunho a small smile of his own and bumped their shoulders slightly.

 

 

Once inside, Yunho made the beeline to his bedroom to unpack his bag while Changmin goes directly to... what else? - the kitchen, of course..

 

 

"Hey Min.. Won't your girlfriend get pissed off that you're spending all your time with me these days?"  
Yunho called out (making a face at the mentioned girlfriend - s'ok~ Changmin's in the kitchen so he didn't see it) while he opened the door to bedroom.

 

 

**THUD**

 

 

The sudden noise from his balcony had Yunho stopped cold, few steps into the room.

 

 

He approached the sliding door towards his balcony cautiously. Biting his lips, he knows considering the recent incident, the sensible thing to do would be to get out from there quickly and get Changmin. 

  

 

But then~... well.... no one ever call Yunho to be much of a sensible/logical boy before.

Now, a _curious_ one on the other hand..... 

 

 

He gripped the edge of the curtain with one hand and after taking a deep breath, yanked the heavy fabric aside. 

 

 

What he found in there however made his jaw dropped open in shock and weird dolphin-like noises coming out from his mouth.

 

 

"......on't know what's wrong with her.. She was like extremely cling...

what are you doing?"

Changmin raised his eyebrows at the sight of Yunho looking at him with ' _deer in the headlights_ ' wide-eyed look with his back against the closed curtain to the outside balcony - his clothes bag at his feet, still bulging and packed.

 

 

"Ch..Changmin~! Um.. why are you in here?"  
Yunho stammered.

 

 

The younger man narrows his eyes in suspicion and stepped closer, observing the fact that Yunho presses even further back against the sliding door,

"Well~ there's nothing edible in your fridge except few takeout boxes which I seriously doubt safe for human consumption so I threw them all out

\- I was thinking maybe we should go out to eat and also buy your groceries afterward. Do you need help unpacking before that?"

He gestured towards Yunho unopened bag.

 

 

Yunho squirms underneath Changmin's sharp gaze,

"Umm.. that's okay. I'm not very hungry and... uh... I.. um.. I'll unpack later.

In fact you know what'll be a great idea? You. Home.. with your girl. I'm pretty sure she misses you~"

 

 

"Aside from the fact that we both are  **NOT** living together, I told you that I'm all yours today.

Are you hiding something from me?"

Changmin asked straight out - years dealing with oblivious!Yunho taught him that it's best to just be straight up with the man as Yunho doesn't really gets it when someone being cryptic with him

 (fortunate for him as most of Changmin's sarcasms just flew right above him, but very _stressful_ for Changmin).

 

 

Yunho put on his best ' _I'm cute and innocent_ ' face and shook his head,

"Me? Secret?? What are you talking about?? Eheh.."

 

 

Changmin sighed - did he also mentioned that Yunho is  _horrible_ at lying?

Finally had enough, Changmin stepped forward to grab Yunho's bag off the floor. 

 

 

But unlike most times where Yunho pretty much just let Changmin pushes him around (sometimes literally), this time he stood his ground and grabbed the maknae's hands in his and turned Changmin around in one smooth action - pretty impressive for someone who just got discharged from the hospital.

 

 

Before he knew what happened, Changmin found himself on the other side of the front door with not so much of a:

" _Reallyappreciatewhatyou'vedonebutheylookatthetime~I'msupertiredandjustgonnagotobedsojustrunalongtoyourhousenow._

_Okaythanksbye~_ "

 

 

Yunho leans back against the door after he locked the maknae out - wincing as the other man rant and rave and kicked and threatened Yunho to ' _open the damn door this instant, so help me God!_ '. 

 

"Go home Min! I'm fine. I can take care of myself!! I'll see you tomorrow~.."

He shouted through the door at the irate younger man. 

 

 

After few more minutes of shouting at each other through the door (idly Yunho wonders if his neighbors are calling the police at this very moment for the disturbance), Changmin finally gave up after figuring out that no amount of cajoling nor threatening would sway Yunho's decision.

 

 

Yunho carefully placed his ear near the door to make sure that the maknae had really left and not just waiting quietly in the hallway to pounce on Yunho the moment he opened the door

(of course he has no intention of going out of his apartment that night. He shuddered when he thinks what Changmin would do to him if he caught Yunho when Changmin is still pissed off at him ;__;)

 

 

After he (kinda) sure that his  ~~overprotective mother-hen~~  partner has gone, Yunho rushed to his room again and threw aside the curtain and unlocked the glass sliding door.

 

 

....... where a figure is crouching on the cold tiled floor and looking up piteously up to him.

 

 

"Jun Hee, what the  _hell_ are you doing here??"

 

 

 

 

~ _TBC(??)_ ~

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Smart Jun Hee, running to Yunho for help.. Of course, if Changmin found out~ well..... ^^;;; 
> 
> \- Uh-oh, the girl is definitely NOT happy that Changmin chose Yunho over her (like hello~was it any surprise he did that?? >.>)
> 
> \- Sorry for the late update.. Did any of you guys miss me?? ^^;;
> 
> \- C/C is greatly appreciated and much much loved.. Thank you for reading :)
> 
> \- Come and holler at me @ Twitter (@Criztalinz) or Tumblr (@changhomin-hatsukoi) ---> Though i'm not as active there as i once was ^^;;


	8. PART 5 (.. Is Paved With Good Intentions)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fork In The Road. 
> 
> ‘Which road do I take?’ she asked. 
> 
> ‘Where do you want to go?’ was his response.
> 
> 'I don’t know.'
> 
> ‘Then, it doesn’t matter.' 
> 
> ~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

 

 

"Jun Hee, what the hell are you doing here??.. No, scratch that.  _HOW_ are you here?? This is the 20th floor!"

Yunho asked the younger man incredulously.

 

 

"I'm sorry hyung.."

Jun Hee stood up slowly - wincing as his knees cracked with pain from crouching down for quite a while,

"I... The police are looking for me and I'm pretty sure they are pissed off that I gave them the slip and I found your address fr..."

 

 

"Whoa whoa whoa.. back up a bit. You ran away from the  _police_?? What..."

Yunho opened and closed his mouth few times.. Words eluded him.

"Okay, first of all: The police _really_ involved in this? and secondly: What the hell?!! Running away? What were you  _thinking_ , Jun Hee-ah~..

Ah ani~ before that, hurry and come inside. It's freezing out here.. Last thing we need is you getting sick."

He ushered in the younger man and quickly locked the sliding door and closed the curtain. 

 

 

Jun Hee stepped further into the warm room gratefully, rubbing his hands together and sniffling miserably. 

Yunho went to the closet to grab a thick blanket and wrapped it around the other's tall thin frame; before guiding him outside to the living room and settle him down on the couch. 

 

Handing him a mug of coffee, Yunho looked Jun Hee as he gulped down the hot liquid like it wasn't burning his mouth. Finally sighing deeply, he sat down on the seat opposite to the younger man and waits patiently until the other finished his drink. 

 

"Talk"  
  
  
  
"I don't know what to do.. **No** one believes me.. The police certainly didn't~ And S.M.E lawyers are just itching to prosecute me..

And I... I don't have anywhere to go..." 

 

 

At the other's small voice, Yunho sighed and looked above for guidance.

Finding none, he looks back at the young man in front of him.  
  
  
  
While around the same height (give or take a few millicentimeter) as Yunho himself,

\- Jun Hee's tendency to hunched over himself and the earnest expression on his ' _on the verge of adulthood but still have traces of chubby baby fat_ ' face, his painfully thin stature that Yunho knows due to not having proper meals and not because of some latest diet fad and that fierce determination glint in his eyes;

-often makes the younger man looks shorter and way too innocent for the cutthroat nature of the industry.

 

This resulted in Yunho found himself feels this protectiveness feeling welled up inside him from the second he introduced himself to the wide-eyed new worker.. and before long he had more or less semi-adopted the boy, tries to look out for him and urged all their staff to do the same.

 

 

In a way Jun Hee reminds Yunho of himself when he first came to Seoul to pursue his dream .

Looking at the struggling young man, Yunho remembers how difficult life could be when there's no one... no family to go home to.

How lonely and sad and  _hopeless_ everything had seems. 

 

 

God knows how much he loves Changmin.

But no matter how much nor how long the hours the maknae had patiently sits by Yunho and listened to all his trouble, there are just some things Changmin wouldn't...  _couldn't_ understand.

 

 

See, Changmin has never been  **alone**.  
  
Never a time when he had to fend for himself...  
  
When the next meal or even next shelter from the cold wind is uncertained.

 

 

All his life, Changmin has people caring for him...  _loving_ him..  
  
From his parents to trainee hyungs and staff noonas, to all Japanese Nii-san and Nee-san to Jaejoong-hyung and Yoochun-hyung and Junsu-hyung and the one that adores him the  **most** : Yunho himself.

 

 

Even when TVXQ was in the middle of the group turmoil, JYJ and Yunho tried their best to act as normal as possible in front of their beloved maknae so as not to worry him so much - not that it do any good as Changmin has a temper a mile wide (coupled with the fact he could be stubborn as a mule when he  _feels_ like it) that towards the end, Yunho was torn between to appear cordial in public with the other three members _and_ at the same time taking care of the maknae who decided to have his own silent protest and refused to even glance at the other three  ~~ex~~ members(regardless they were in public or not).

 

 

Don't get him  _wrong_..

He would  **never** wish for Changmin to experienced what he had been through...

 

 

Despite his snarks and sarcastic nature and sullenness, Changmin is Yunho (and JYJ)'s  _brightest_ light.

Unlike the other four, Changmin who never experienced any hardship in life is someone four of them thought as their own baby bird to raise and protect and take care of. It drove the maknae crazy sometimes but~ that was how it was.

All of them were very protective of him. They all dreamed to preserve that bit on innocence in the youngest (little do they know that the little twerp was actually way ahead of them in 'knowledge of the adult world'.. Ah~ internet.. thy is indeed the root of all evil for young minds)

 

 

And now that Changmin all grown up and drifting away, Yunho lost count how many times he suppressed the pang of loneliness and wishful thinking.

 

 

He knows Changmin not his to keep... But  _sometimes_ (deep in the night with only his thoughts as company), Yunho wished it could be different.. 

He misses that boy who looked up admiringly at him with those beautiful wide eyes. He misses those days where Changmin firmly believed ' _Yunho-hyung knows everything_ '. He misses those times where he is Changmin's wall of support.. his hero...

 

 

It wasn't like he wants the maknae to be dependent on him forever, of course not.

.... Just~... 

Well... It was nice.. to felt needed.. to felt _wanted ._

 

 

That's why despite risking Changmin's wrath when (yes, it's  _WHEN_ not  _IF_ \- coz if anything, Changmin always seems to have this...  **sixth** sense when it comes to Yunho =.=;;) he finds out about this, Yunho decided that he would do his best to help Jun Hee to get out from this mess. 

 

 

"Okay here's what gonna happens, you going to stay here for the night and tomorrow both of us will go to the police and tell them it was all just an unfortunate accident and I don't want to press charges.. That should straighten all things out, right?"

 

 

To Yunho's surprise, the younger man shakes his head vehemently

"No hyung! It wasn't an accident. I saw the straps myself and they were definitely cut no doubt about it. Someone wanted to hurt you, hyung..  _badly_.. if not worst"

  

 

 

  

And honestly, Yunho has no idea what to say to that, 

"Um.. it wasn't _you_ though, right?"

  

 

"Hyung~.."

Jun Hee whines

"Don't even **joke** about that~ If I wanted to hurt you, would I come to you to hide from police like  _this_?"

 

 

Yunho shrugged,

"How would _I_ know? Maybe you're here to finish the job~"

Seeing the other's half-strangled looks, he laughed

"I was just  _teasing_ Jun Hee-ah~ I know you wouldn't do that to me.."

 

 

The bright sweet smile from the older man caused slight blush to adorned Jun Hee's cheeks.

"I...ah.. Thank you, hyung.. for believing in me."

 

 

Oblivious to the flustered man, Yunho purses his lips

"But~ just because I believe you, doesn't mean S.M.E lawyers would let it go. We need to clear your name once and for all.. I wonder who I pissed off bad enough that they wanted to hurt me~"

 

 

"Ani hyung! I'm sure it wasn't hyung's fault at all."

Jun Hee quickly tried to reassure the older man,

"Hyung is the best person I've ever known. Everyone loves you~!" 

 

 

Yunho scoffed

"Yeah, sure they do.. they love me so much that they want to put me permanently to _sleep_ "

 

 

"Well~ there's that girl.."

Jun Hee trailed off as he remembers that there wasn't any evidence that could support his claim that a girl had came into the set the day before.

 

 

Yunho cocks his head to the side and asked,

"Girl? What girl?? Can she be the witness that say you didn't do it?"

 

 

"There was this girl that came the day before the shooting. She said that she was supposed to go for an audition and she got lost in the building and asked for my help.

She said that she noticed TVXQ name posted on the studio's door and she mentioned she is  _your_ fan. She wanted to know which harness was yours because she just wanted to touch it and feels close to you or something...

I thought it was a bit weird but~ I felt sorry for her.

I... I'm sorry hyung... I shouldn't let her in no matter what.."

Jun Hee looks down to his feet.

 

 

"Yeah, you shouldn't. But Jun Hee-ah~  you're still new working in this entertainment industry. It wasn't your fault that you didn't know some people are just weird.

Do you remember how she looks like? Maybe if you could draw her, we.. well,  _ **I**_  could see if she's still hanging around the company to finish the job."

 

 

Just then loud growling noise came from Jun Hee's stomach. Blushing, the man pressed a hand on his middle,

"Um.. sorry bout that. I haven't eaten anything yet today."

 

 

"What?! okay,  _new_ plan. I will go out and buy some groceries and takeouts.. You, stay here and start drawing that girl.

Do  **NOT** open the door no matter what, I'll bring my keys. Do NOT open the curtain/window too, arasso?"

 

 

"Yes, hyung.."

 

 

 

***********************

 

 

 

Yunho whistles happily (yes, he  _CAN_ to whistle despite what Changmin and the staff thought * _pouts_ *) as he walked down the street.

For once, there isn't a single fan waiting outside - could be to the cold weather, and Yunho is free to walk freely and enjoy the balmy night breeze.

 

 

And no, he didn't notice the black sedan nor the man inside it who's watching his every move..

 

 

 

**********************************************************

 

 

 

"Wow.. this is  **good** , hyung!"

 

 

Yunho ignored the garbled compliment from the man sitting next to him and stares at the piece of paper in front of him,

"Jun Hee.. you  _DO_ realise that you just drew me a Sadako, right?"

 

 

Jun Hee stopped shoveling the Jjajangmyeon into his mouth and swallowed the noodles before asking in confusion,

"Wazzat? I drew the girl just like you asked me to~"

 

 

Yunho shakes his head,

"Jun Hee~ this girl looks like a Japanese  _ghost_!! And why are there little hearts around her head?"

 

 

Jun Hee beamed,

"Oh, that was because I remembered that she was  _really_ pretty..Honestly hyung, she looks so innocent and sweet and pretty."

 

 

Yunho rolled his eyes,

"Yeah~ so pretty that you just do whatever she asked you to, right?"

At Jun Hee's contrite face, Yunho felt a little bad..

"Anyway, we can't use this. Unless I'm searching for a ghost - which,  **No**. Just. No."

He sighed and picked up his own seafood noodle soup.

 

 

"Why don't I come to the SM building with you, hyung?"

Jun Hee asked

"I could tell you when.. or if I see her.. "

 

 

"No. Absolutely  _not_. It'll be too dangerous.. What if someone sees you and calls the police? It'll be worse coz you ran away once. They will never trust you now..

Plus, who's to say she will even come back?"

Yunho worries his lips.

 

 

"Well, I can't just stay here not doing anything. Even if there's the slightest chance she'll come back, I would like to help you find her.

Don't worry, hyung.. I know a lot of hiding places in the building.. I can just sneak around. Plus I learnt how to blend in when I was on the street..

C'mon,  _please_ hyung... This way, I could look after your back as well.. What if the person strikes again? This time you got me.."

 

 

The wide goofy grin had Yunho smiles fondly at the younger man,

"Aish.. you remind me of my Changmin.. He's overprotective too.. He's much meaner about it though. Don't tell him I say that~"

 

 

"What did Changmin-sshi said about all this? I bet he's  _really_ worried about you, huh?"

 

 

Yunho paused and contemplates on telling Jun Hee that Changmin hates Jun Hee's gut as he thinks Jun Hee is responsible for the incident.

"Um.. He's Changmin, you know~.. He worries too much. Most times I feel like  _he's_  the hyung and I'm the dongseang.."

 

 

"You guys are really close, huh? I mean, I've seen your posters and heard the stories but I always thought it was just.. you know,  _show business_  kinda thing. But when I saw you two together... I can see how much you care for him and vice versa.. In fact I was convinced that you guys were.. you know,  _together_ together."

At Yunho's stunned look Jun Hee quickly added,

"But that was only at first, I heard that Changmin-sshi has a girlfriend now?"

 

 

"Ah yes..Have you seen her?"

 

 

"Um, no. But I heard that she's pretty?"

 

 

Yunho smiles wanly,

"She is.. She really is beautiful.. She's perfect for him.

_Everybody_ likes her.."

 

 

Jun Hee looks at the older man thoughtfully,

"And you? Do  _you_ like her?"

 

 

Yunho shrugs, pushing the remnants of his noodles around the bowl - appetite diminishing at the thought of Changmin's girl,

"Changmin likes her.."

 

 

Jun Hee didn't point out that that wasn't what he asked. Bumping their shoulders together slightly, he just said softly

"Well for what it's worth, I think you are beautiful and a pretty awesome person yourself. Whoever can't see that must be blind and an idiot.."

 

 

Looking down, Yunho smiles - cheeks flushed the softest pink,

"Thank you..."

 

 

*****************************************************************

 

 

Changmin leaned back against the back of his couch, threw an arm across his eyes and sighed tiredly.

 

 

It's been a long couple of days.. well, actually it's been a long couple of weeks..

What with their new album, the long hours of practice and practice and practice _again_ ~, His parents getting antsy and started hinting that their friends already have few grandchildren of their own, the clingy girlfriend.. 

 

_Yunho_...

 

 

See, there lies the problem.

 

 

When he first met his girlfriend, _obviously_ lust played a huge part in him being attracted to her. She is damn beautiful, after all..

 

 

And to be quite honest, everything was going great at first.

He got to release his... _physical stress_ so to speak and well~ he gotta admit he gets on bragging that he has a _beautiful_ girlfriend.

 

 

But after a while, after all the hype and lust wears off.. He found himself.. well, annoyed would be too strong a word he supposed..  _bored_ (??) with her?

 

 

Changmin knows he sounds like a jerk but... the girl just so _agreeable_ with everything Changmin wants..

 

yes yes.. he sounds like a freakin' **_asshole_**.

But honestly unlike most men, Changmin likes if his partner has a bit of a  **bite**.. someone that could _give_ just as they could _take_.

He doesn't want to date a robot, he wants someone that loves him but still would call on his bullshit when it's needed.

 

 

Not only that, the girl is getting more _clingy_ too.

At first he thought it was normal considering their relationship is new and not like they could date and always be together all the time (or even in public) - She said that she was alright with it..

 

 

But lately... Changmin would be lucky if he didn't receive like 20 phone calls every other day. 

**AND** she's taken to even stalking him to practice.. despite he mentioned that he didn't like it.

 

 

But then she brought up how Yunho gets to be with Changmin almost 24/7 so why can't  _she_...

 

 

Which.. what the  _hell_?? 

Yunho is ~~his other half~~ part of TVXQ, of course they would be together most of the time..

There is no one.. absolute **_NO ONE_** in this world that can compares to who Yunho is to Changmin. 

Not any of his friends, neither any of his family.. and certainly not a girl whom he knows for only few months. 

 

 

Then she said something that Changmin couldn't forgive - not in a million years.

 She said that Changmin would be better off doing solo and that maybe Yunho is dragging him down.

 

 

Only because his parents had taught him to never hit women that he didn't slap the hell out of her - girlfriend or not.

She apologized afterward - tearfully begging him and telling that she is just scared of losing Changmin and she wasn't feeling well so she was speaking nonsense.

 

 

In a way perhaps that was what drove the wedge between them - at least on Changmin's side.

She didn't say anything but he thinks she _was_  aware that Changmin been keeping his distance for a while now. 

 

 

Their relationship is like a ticking time bomb. 

Just waiting for its time to explode and fell apart.

 

  

' _But it wasn't just because of her, was it?_ ' his mind whispered.

 

 

No.

 

 

It's  **Yunho**.

 

 

It's the fact that the man he always thought as his own hyung is invading his thoughts more and more these past years.

They've always been close but after the split up, their friendship takes on a different level of closeness that honestly  _scares_ Changmin to bits.

 

 

Suddenly there's a whole new side of Yunho that Changmin never seen before and can't get enough of.

A certain....  **softness** that just screams at Changmin to keep it for himself. 

 

 

At first he tried to deny it - Next few years found him constantly seesawing between being ridiculously protective of the older man, practically baring his feelings to all that cares to look, and pushing Yunho away and rejecting any comfort asked or offered. 

While a very affectionate and tactile person by nature, Yunho never said anything each time Changmin hit him with sarcastic.. sometimes unforgivable harsh words. 

But each time those eyes look at him with confusion and hurt in them, Changmin hates himself a little bit more. 

 

 

Not even the nearly two years apart during their national service could make him any less entranced with Yunho.

Just the opposite. 

He never knew it is possible to miss someone so much it hurts. 

 

 

It was like he was living a life with half a soul... and barely a heart. 

  

 

After one time too many of having wet dreams featuring Yunho, Changmin decided to end his sexual-identity crisis once and for all.

And the girl he chose really was  _perfect_.

 

 

But ultimately she's just not enough to make Changmin forget....

to wonders...

 

 

Wondering how would firm muscles with  _barest_ hint of softness would feel underneath his caress instead of womanly curves.

Wondering how much more  **delicious** cupid's bow lips whose owner obsessed with eating strawberries would feel opening up to his own hungry lips instead of full lips smeared with sweet cherry flavored gloss. 

Wondering how satisfied he would feel seeing that creamy skin blossoms with little bite marks as he is sure he won't be able to resist to show the world his claim on the older man. 

Wondering how much would it turn him on when raspy groan and deep whine instead of soft moans whispered in his ears. 

That beautiful body writhing around helplessly, hands tearing at the sheet and those strong thighs framing his head as he brings Yunho to the peak of Heaven on earth again and again. 

 

 

And he keeps wondering how content he would feel waking up every morning and see that sweet small face greets him sleepily and how their house would never reach  _his_ accepted level of neat and how little things like toothpaste or toilet paper would lead to arguments and end up in sweet  _sweet_ love-making.

And how he just knows he would feel like banging his head on the wall in exasperation half the time but just one cheeky grin from that person would instantly make Changmin feels like he's the luckiest man alive.

 

 

Which is why after the scare he received with Yunho getting badly hurt this time, he decided that enough is **enough**..

It's time for him to man-up and discover what.. or _who_ is it that he really wants.

 

 

And while he's searching for himself, it's unfair of him to keep stringing along other people..

May it be his girlfriend or even Yunho or  _anyone_ else really...

 

 

Maybe it's the sudden decision, maybe it's the frustration dealing with a stubborn Yunho and the  **rage** at the thought of anyone who dares to try and hurt the gentlest soul Changmin ever knows or perhaps because he was just so  _tired_ of these emotional roller-coaster;

whatever it is Changmin did one of the most  _ **cowardly**_ thing he ever done before.

 

 

He broke off with his girlfriend.

 

 

..... Through the text.

  

 

He knows it was despicable of him.. She deserves better. 

No one deserves to be dumped by text message.. or even just over the phone.

 

 

He was just too tired to care nor to deal with the tears and begging he knows would follow should he tells her face-to-face. 

Maybe when things has settled down a bit and that bastard who tried to hurt Yunho is truly behind bars, he would go and see her to talk and apologize properly.

 

 

For now though..

Changmin looks at the vibrating phone in his hand where a familiar number and name flashes repeatedly (for the nth times - mere seconds after he sent the text)

...... and press ' **Reject** '.

 

 

_Mianhae_

 

 

************************

 

 

 

The vibration of his phone on the glass table woke Changmin up with a start.

Groaning at the crick of his neck he blindly reached for the vibrating menace and squinted at the clock on the screen ( _2am.. Jesus!_ ) and noted a private number before pressing the answer button.

 

 

Few seconds later had Changmin sat up straight - heart pounding loudly.

 

 

_Changmin-ah, the police lost Jun Hee. Somehow he disappeared from the station and still in the wind._

_They're now is preparing for a manhun..._

 

 

 

' _Shit. Yunho.._ '

Was Changmin first thought and he quickly gets ready to go to other's house - concerned about the older man's safety.

 

 

He was pulling on a fresh shirt on when he got a text message. 

It was from the bodyguard who he hired to keep an eye on Yunho (secretly of course as he knows the other would throw a fuss).

 

 

Changmin smiles a bit as the report from the guard was detailed up to every single things that Yunho bought when he went out - apparently to buy groceries and dinner

(and no, Changmin doesn't care _how_ the guard got the info as long as he is efficient).

And when he got to 2kgs of strawberries, Changmin laughed.

 

 

Yunho's love of strawberry is  _legendary_ ~ even his perfume has a hint of fresh strawberries smell to them.

 

 

' _One Jjajangmyeon set.. one Seafood noodle set.. three bottles of orange soda po..._ '

Changmin paused.

 

 

Wait.

_**2**_  dinner sets?

 

 

That's odd.

Of the two of them,  _Changmin_ is the one that loves to eat..

Yunho tends to be conscious of how easily he gains weight (honestly Changmin always think Yunho looks best when he's a bit chubbier. Making hugging him so  _comfortable_ ~)

 

 

So why....

 

 

Changmin swore.

 

 

_Jun Hee._

 

 

Of course.

 

 

Of  **course** that little shit went straight to his hyung.

After all, everybody knows what a softie Yunho is.

And maybe he is waiting for another opportunity to hurt Yunho again.

 

 

' _Well Jun Hee.. You mess with the wrong people._ '

Changmin thought as he opened the secret compartment in his bedside table.

 

 

There, in gleaming black - laying almost innocently against the rich red velvet:

Is a handgun.

 

 

Changmin picks it up.

 

 

 

 

~TBC~

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I.. really like Jun Hee and Yunho bonding. Jun Hee needs someone to care for him and Yunho misses taking care of someone. The fact that it will also pisses off Changmin is a plus point for me ^^. Who came to mind when you guys read about Jun Hee?? I just want to know whose face you think he looks like :)
> 
> \- Omo~ what's this?? Changmin finally dumped the girl? Thus incoming ChangminHo romance?? REALLY???!!! well.. actually, Changmin is still in semi-denial. So~... 
> 
> \- If anyone wondering why/how Changmin has a gun.. Well,I assure you that Yunho (and I) would like to know that too =.=;;;
> 
> \- Of course Changmin hired a guard~.. you don't think that he just let Yunho stay alone without protection on the night he just came back from hospital, did you?? XD
> 
> \- Real Question: Since CM dumped the girl (by text!! I'm disappointed in you, Changmin-ah.. tsk tsk) is this the end? No more girlfriend, so no more drama.. so... could next chapter be the last? (I wish!)
> 
> \- Tell me, what do you think of Changmin breaking up with the girl by text.. (and owning a gun)
> 
> \- Hi guys~~~~... Are you enjoying the fic so far? Thank you again for reading and for all the comments and kudos m(_._)m.. C/C is greatly appreciated and much much loved :)
> 
> \- It occurred to me that my chapter summary mostly... well... not a summary at all. I hope you guys can always sense the connection between the summary and the chapter. 
> 
> \- Come and holler at me @ Twitter (@Criztalinz) or Tumblr (@changhomin-hatsukoi) about anything at all~.. tvxq, life, scandals, gossip or just if you need someone to rant at.


	9. PART 6 (Philia, Pragma, Eros... Mania)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My...  
> Morning song  
> Midnight lullaby  
> 4 am thoughts  
> Saddest tears  
> Sunniest smile  
> Best past  
> Last future  
> ... You are

 

 

 

Yunho not entirely sure what was it that woke him up. Whining and huffing, he rubbed his face against the pillows and tried going back to sleep.

 

 

Slowly the distant shouting filtered through his half asleep mind and he gave up on going back to sleep.

Rubbing his eyes groggily, Yunho gets up while pouting and grumbling grumpily how when one is  _kind_ enough to harbor a _**fugitive** _in his home, the said fugitive should at least have a common courtesy to **not** watch the television so  _loudly_ that could disturb one's sleep.

  
  
  
When he walked into the living room - fully intent to do some shouting of his own at his guest, Yunho found out that the shouting wasn't in fact from the television.

 

 

In fact a bizarre scene met his eyes that has Yunho questioning if he really is awake or maybe he's in a very  **realistic** dream.

  
  
  
Rubbing his eyes one more time, as if to make sure that he really is seeing Changmin standing over a cowering Jun Hee with a.. a...  
  
Is that a  _gun_ in his hand??!!!

  
  
  
Suddenly all traces of sleep melted away and Yunho is wide awake more he ever been before.

  
  
"Changmin, what the  **hell** do you think you're doing?!!"  
Yunho walked over the two men and about to go towards Jun Hee to see if he was harmed when Changmin grabbed his arm.

  
  
"Yunho-hyung c'mere."  
Changmin shoved Yunho to stand behind him.

  
"Hyung..."  
Jun Hee whimpered

  
  
"Shut up! Don't look at him, don't  **talk** to him or I'll blow your head off, don't think I won't!

You okay, hyung?"

Changmin asked Yunho - his eyes never left Jun Hee who is on the floor.

  
  
Yunho gaped at the back of Changmin's head and finally had enough.

Pushing Changmin to the side, he went to Jun Hee and knelt next to the boy - ignoring the half-strangled sound coming from Changmin's throat.

"Jun Hee-ah, you okay? This idiot didn't hurt you, did he?"

 

 

When the younger man nodded - still looking fearfully at Changmin over Yunho's shoulder, Yunho stood up and turned back to glare at his own crazy maknae.

"Yah! What the  _fuck_ do you think you're doing??!! Have you lost your fucking mind?!

Put that gun away! Where the fuck did you get it  _anyway_??!!"

 

 

Slowly Changmin lowered the gun.

"You don't have to  _swear_ ~"

He mumbled sulkily.

  
  
Yunho stares incredulously at the younger man, mouth opening and closing without a word passing through.

When he finally speaks, his voice is just this side of shaking- as he is trying to keep himself from screaming (and maybe punching a certain maknae on the face),

"You.. you _came_ in here which by the way I swear to _**God** _I will take back that house key that you stole!, threatened  _MY_ guest with a GUN like a freaking demented vigilante.. and you wanted to scold  _ME_ for  ** _SWEARING_**?!!

Oh trust me Shim Changmin-sshi, you will have a whole  **lot** more to be worried about than your delicate sensibilities after i'm done with you here~!"

  
  
Changmin winced.

Angry!Yunho is... to put it  _very_ mildly: is **damn** scary.

 

 

Changmin's the temperamental one.. but when Yunho is angry (rare as the occasion may be), everybody better duck for cover.

His glare alone could freeze water into ice and makes you feel like 2 inches tall.

There's a reason why Yunho once was put to be in charge of two of the most hot-headed and volatile trainees of S.M.E after all: Changmin and Jaejoong.

He's the only one who could put them both in their places - cowed and meek and on their best-behaviour.

 

 

"Sorry hyung..."

He mumbles again - shuffling his feet and trying his best to look contrite.

 

  
  
Yunho huffed and turned back to Jun Hee - he didn't miss the way Changmin stiffened as he helps Jun Hee back to his feet and led the youngster to sit on the couch where he was supposed to spend the night on.

 

 

"Changmin, **sit**.

We could have this conversation like any normal sane people.. or as normal as it could be at nearly 2 in the fucking morning,  _Jesus_!"

Yunho sighed and rubbed his face.

"Urgh, I think I need some coffee. Anyone else?"

 

 

"Nothing for me, thanks."

Changmin said as he sat on the big massage chair- conveniently located in direct sight of the couch.

 

 

Jun Hee beamed and about to accept Yunho's offer when he took one look at Changmin's withering glare and wilted.

He mumbled that he didn't want any too.

  
  
Yunho rolled his eyes and went to the kitchen.

Few minutes later, he came out carrying a tray with three mugs: black for Min, milk coffee for Yunho himself and....

  
"...Milk, hyung?"

Jun Hee makes a face when Yunho handed him the steaming mug.

  
  
"Growing boy shouldn't drink coffee. Drink that instead. I put a little bit of honey in it as well.."

Yunho said as he next to the younger man on the couch.

  
  
Jun Hee pouted and muttered that he wasn't a child anymore but when he took a sip, his face brightened at the taste and hug the mug to himself happily.  
  
Yunho can't help but smile at the adorable younger man (while Changmin scowls at Yunho's adoring look towards Jun Hee).

  
  
"Okay, now that everyone is settled and calm~.."

Yunho ignored Changmin's snort,

"First thing that I really need to know at the moment is that: Changmin,  _who_ gave you the gun so I know who to kill after this"

  
Changmin mumbled something under his breath.

  
  
"I'm sorry, do you want to repeat that so us mere mortals could hear?

And **look** at me when I'm talking to you.. not your shoes."

Yunho said sternly.

  
Changmin scowled again as he heard Jun Hee snickering (though he tried to cover it with coughing). He raised his head to look directly at Yunho and repeat his answer in louder voice,

"I got the special license for it after our enlistment. Kyu knows someone who knows someone that sold me the gun.."

Seeing Yunho's darkening expression and sensing he's about to get into some  **MAJOR** hot water here (if he's not already), Changmin quickly added,

"I have a reason for buying it, hyung!"

 

 

Yunho raised an eyebrow,

"Oh  _really_? You want to tell me what was so important that you willingly exposing yourself to a weapon? We are not even working in a dangerous industry!

What kind of example are you setting for our fans, have you ever think about that?!

You know how many cases were there on people accidentally _shot_ themselves with their own gun? 

And what that would do to your family.. to **_me_**?! Finding that my own dongseang hurt or worse,  _dead_ \- in his own pool of blood, shot by his OWN gun!

How could I ever liv.."

  
  
"I just want to be prepared, okay!"

Changmin shouted - cutting Yunho off.

"I want to feel safe.. But more importantly, I want to have the reassurance that I could keep  ** _you_** safe.."

 

 

Changmin stood up and start pacing in tight circle - shoulders tense and hunched,  
  
"Since the split... I saw you.. I saw how you took the brunt of everyone's hatred without a word of defense..

And yes, it was eons ago but Hyung, you were _poisoned_ when we weren't even _aware_ we have that many anti-fans.. So even when our fans turned antis, how do you think **_I_** feel? I know we have bodyguards and all... But they won't be with us 24/7..."

 

 

"....Changmin-ah.. That was a long time ago.. I am no-"

Yunho said helplessly. He was aware of course how the maknae became much more protective of him after what happened and that multiple at least tenfold after the unfortunate split, but he didn't realize how much it still haunts the younger man even to this day.

 

 

"I know, okay!"

Changmin snapped in frustration.

"And I know it's  _stupid_ and probably useless.. But I.. I just.. I want to do  _something_. I can't just sit around and just  _let_.. You know? 

I.. I can't feel that helpless again, hyung.. I just can't."

 

 

Changmin stopped and turned to look at Yunho's stunned face,

"You know you're the one irreplaceable person for me, right? I know I didn't say.. or even show it much but you _know_ that right?"

He said in a small voice.

  
  
Yunho swallowed and stood up.

He walks towards Changmin and stand in front of the taller man.

 

 

"You.. Pabo ya.."

He whispered before grabbing Changmin closer.

 

 

Sure, Changmin is taller (2 'freakin' cm, dammit!) and maybe (since for a while there, it really seems like he would never stop growing) his frame is bigger but then Yunho is no delicate flower himself and as he yanked Changmin into his arms, face against Yunho's shoulder and Yunho's arms tight around him

\- one hand on Changmin's head and the other on his back,

Changmin feels something inside him loosening up a little bit... and admits (just to himself!) that maybe he's not as strong and cold and mature as he prides himself to be in front of everyone...

That maybe he still, in  _so_   **many** ways, a kid who needs his hyung to comforts and reassures him that he did good.

 

 

Yunho then withdrew a bit and cups Changmin's face in between his hands,

"You are irreplaceable to me too, Changmin-ah... Never doubt that."

 

 

And as it always with them, it's like the world outside their own little bubble doesn't exist as they stare at each other.

..... Changmin strangely is okay with that.

 

 

Their faces draw closer together.

 

 

And closer.. and closer..

and....

 

 

 ***** _Crunch_ *****

 

 

They flew apart faster than one can say ' _Cassiopeia_ '.

 

 

Blinking in shocked at each other first, they then turned as one to the side to see Jun Hee coming out from the kitchen - arms (and mouth) full of buttercrunch cookies Yunho bought earlier (coz they are Changmin's favourite).

Oblivious to the tension in the room, Jun Hee shoved another mouthful of tiny cookies into his mouth as he walked back into the living room.

Looking up, he noticed twin stares (well actually, one stare and one death glare =.=;;) directed at him.

 

 

"What??~ I wab hungee..."

He garbled innocently.

 

 

Changmin sighed and pinches the bridge of his nose

"I should've shoot him when I had the chance.."

He mumbles under his breath

(And promptly received a smack on the arm from Yunho)

 

 

 

*****************

 

 

 

"So let me get this straight, he ran away from the police, came to you and told you that he is innocent and there was this mysterious girl that **NO ONE** else had seen who actually might be the one responsible for the attack...

And you _believe_ him?"

 

  
"Pretty much, yeah~"

Yunho replied nonchalantly.

  
  
  
".... **_Why?_** "

Changmin asked incredulously

 

  
  
"Umm..."

Yunho pursed his lips and cocked his head to one side,

"I dunno~.. I just **do**. He doesn't give that psycho killer vibe, you know.. I mean, look at him~!"

 

 

Changmin threw a glance to the side where Jun Hee (after stuffing himself full of cookies and milk) had fallen asleep and now is snuffling adorably into his pillows on the couch.

Changmin felt like he's looking at a young boy instead a 20 years old adult.

 

 

"I still don't trust him.."

He said petulantly.

 

 

"Then trust  **me**.."

Yunho take one of Changmin's hand in his and looks at him pleadingly,

"Trust my judgment, Min.."

 

  
  
Changmin looked at Yunho and huffs exasperatingly,

"Fine. But he's not coming near you and tomorrow I'll be with you all day long. Don't you dare disappear anywhere just with him."

Changmin stood up and walked towards Yunho's bedroom - calling out over his shoulder,

"And I'll be staying in your room tonight!"

 

 

Yunho bit his lips and smiles - cheeks flushed just this tiniest side of rose pink,

"I wouldn't have it any other way...."

He whispered softly before standing up and follows Changmin.

 

 

 

********************************************************************

 

 

 

 _No._  
  
No.  
  
No.  
  
No.  
  
No.

  
  
Her worst nightmare came true..

 

  
_Changmin..._  
  
Changmin...  
  
Changmin-ah...

  
Changmin's gone.

  
  
Despite everything.. despite **all** she'd done...

  
  
He's.....  _gone_.

 

 

He left and....

  
  
She's  **alone**.

  
  
An almost animalistic moan wells up from the huddling figure at the corner of the darkened room. All around her were torn pieces of pictures and posters of the singer.  
By her side is a phone - wrecked beyond recognition after being thrown to the wall and smashed onto the floor few times when her calls were rejected.

  
  
If one were to come close, one would notice the girl is hugging her knees - hair's messy and wild around her thin body, shaking and rocking herself to and fro - mumbling to herself.

 

 

" _Changmin. Changmin. Changmin. Changmin. Changmin. Chanmin. Changmin. Changmin..."_

  
Her fair skin full of scratches - some so deep that blood still oozing sluggishly from the cut and from the look of her bloody nails with few thin strips of skin still embedded underneath suggests that all these injuries were self-inflicted.

  
  
The girl stopped rocking and looked up and one can see even her face doesn't escape the self-torture.

What once must be an exceptionally beautiful face now looks like what one might expect to see in a horror film.

  
Slowly she unfurls herself and starts crawling across the room.  
  
She drags herself up the opposite wall - seemingly oblivious that the rough surface of the wall is cutting into her already injured arms, streaks of blood decorating the once pristine white wall

  
  
She ignores all that and just plastered herself against a huge picture of one Shim Changmin.

From the pose, it appeared that the singer was sleeping when the picture was taken - Rumpled hair and the soft expression of the singer's sleeping face makes him looks years younger than his current 31 years of age.

  
  
  
She strokes the outline of those full lips and those sooty eyelashes.

Leaning forward on her tippy toes, she kissed the picture tenderly.

 

 

Still stroking it softly - mindless of streaks of blood marring the glossy surface, she whispers

"Oppa, y _ou are mine, right? It's because of **him** you can't be with me, right? _

_Of course.. of course.. I understand.. Don't worry Oppa, I will take care of him for us.._ "

 

 

Her eyes turned cold with hatred as she curled her fingers - tearing the picture and leaving more bloody streaks as her nails broke against the hard wall,

" _Soon he won't be in between us anymore.... I'll make sure of it_ "

 

  
  
  
  
  
  
~ _TBC (??)_ ~

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Hello~ who missed me? *sound of crickets* ^^;;.. `Mian mian.. I was supposed to post this chapter long time ago after i finished sulking but i got lazy  
> \- Ok, lets talk about the chapter first~: OMG they nearly kissed!! Should we scold Jun Hee for interrupting that moment? XD (forgive him.. he didnt mean to)  
> \- Yes, I LOVE fluffy cute Yunho.. BUT BUT BUT I also like angry!Yunho.. and i am pretty sure angry!yunho is scary that even Changmin wouldn't dare to go against him.  
> \- The girl is becoming more unhinged -.-;;.. I~... still haven't decided who she is going to harm.. so many potential scenarios (hint: I am doing research on most painful way to torture someone without killing them outright).. kekeke  
> \- What is the meaning of the title? Those are 4 out of the original 8 different types of love: Affectionate (Philia), Enduring (Pragma), Erotic (Eros), Obsessive (Mania)
> 
> Real life topic:  
> \- I MISS TOHOSHINKI IN JAPAN. It's already July so why aren't they preparing for their Japanese album?  
> \- atm, they are seldom together (in public. God knows if they even meet each other in private) so~ i don't know what to think..  
> \- I read that Changmin fans want to do a special light project during his solo for the TVXQ concert in HK. That's cool~ ofc we are free to fav whoever we wish. No harm in that~.. All I hope is that they really will turn off the light before and after Changmin solo and cheer when BOTH of them on stage too. I hope they will respect when it is Yunho solo time as well.  
> After witnessing with my own eyes in Japan how Changmin akgaes behaved, i kinda don't have any good thoughts of them. Of course, this is just my personal opinion based on personal experience.  
> \- On happier note, was it just me or is Yunho really is becoming more and more prettier day by day??  
> \- Who is going to their concert in Jakarta next month and Osaka next year? Lets meet! XD  
> \- While I DO wish there are more Changmin/Yunho interaction in daily life, I am LOVING all these show Yunho went on where he got to meet lots of Hyungs who are apparently all more than happy to spoil and cuddle him. Authors yorobbun~where are all the jealous!Changmin fics???  
> \- Come and holler at me @ Twitter (@Criztalinz) or Tumblr (@changhomin-hatsukoi) about anything at all~.. tvxq, life, scandals, gossip or just if you need someone to rant at.
> 
> Serious Real Life topic:  
> \- I hope no one is affected by the earthquakes that apparently is happening frequently these past few days. Please take care and i pray each one of us will stay healthy and happy and safe.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello~.. does anyone still remember this old fic of mine? (Which previously so creatively titled 'The Untitled')  
> Anyway, since I only posted this on my lj (which is closed to public now) i thought i would like to repost it here in AO3. I would also like to rewrite/update some of the details in the fic to be more relevant with the current TVXQ. 
> 
> As you can see, this fic also got a new title (finally!): 般若 or HANNYA
> 
> Why 'HANNYA'? And what does it mean?
> 
> Well~ 'HANNYA' is a mask used in Noh (classical Japanese musical drama) theater, representing a jealous female demon.  
> The Hannya mask portrays the souls of women who have become demons due to obsession or jealousy. It is said to be demonic and dangerous but also sorrowful and tormented, displaying the complexity of human emotions (thank you wikipedia!).
> 
> Another candidate for the title was 'ANEMONE' as the meaning of the flower is 'forsaken' or 'forgotten love' but also 'protection against evil/ill wishes'.
> 
> BUT after considering the plot of this story (and where it is heading to), i thought 'HANNYA' is the better.. more suitable title for this fic.


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